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Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011~

.tomorrow had past.
.never regret.
never look back.
is it true?.
.without past, we are not who we are today.
i learnt to give myself a chance.
i learnt to let go.
.i learnt to move on.
.the time i had finally move on is the time i give myself chance for others to know me.
.to understand me.
.to be with me.
.but, as this time comes, i lost a person i really cared about.
.its not your fault, its not our fault.
.its takdir.
.what Allah had meant for us.
.it might be a test for our friendship.
.and I think we had just failed the test.
................................................................

.Allah telah berikan kita banyak nikmat dekat duni ni..dia yang memberi..Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Menyayangi.
.perasaan sayang pon satu nikmat yang Allah bagi dekat hambanya.
.dia yang tumbuhkan perasaan sayang kita terhadap seseorang dengan tujuan untuk saling mengingati Dia dan untuk bantu permudahkan kehidupan kita di dunia yang penuh dengan dugaan dan cabaran.
.Manusia selalu lupa tentang satu hakikat.
.Allah berhak menarik balik nikmat sayang dari diri kita.
.bila-bila masa.
.tujuannya: kita mungkin sayang sesuatu, sedangkan ia buruk untuk kita. dan kita mungkin benci sesuatu, sedangkan ia amat baik untuk kita.
.Hanya Allah yang tahu sebab dan akibatnya.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

friend till jannah :')


pertandingan video Osem APG '11..
memang awesome..
sahabat till jannah will you?

go~





.i often tell myself to let it be that i forget that sometimes let it go is the best answer.
..................................................


.i dont have the solution for us.
.biarlah Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita.
.im sorry that i couldnt understand you.
.deep down, i blame myself.
.but i know its not anyone fault.
.it ain't a crime to have feelings.
.i just wish that we never gone through this.
.i miss how we used to be.
.sorry.

sahabat

Persahabatan kerana ALLAH..
memberi tanpa diminta,
menyokong tanpa minta disanjungi,
memuji bukan kerana budi,
berkorban tanpa menuntut ganjaran,
carilah persahabatan atas dasar iman,
kita akn tahu bahawa persahabatan itu amat manis rasanya dan menyenangkan,
carilah perjuangan yg brprinsip & dredhai Allah, di dataran itulah kita akan menemui
SAHABAT SEJATI





tiba-tiba teringat pasal quotes ni..~

Saturday, December 24, 2011


. I AM PATHETIC.
. I am still stuck in the past.
. Who cares?.
.Whatever.
. I know I will be scold by my gf for still not move on, but I'm sorry its too hard.
. dah lah dayah, asyik membebel, merengek-rengek..tak reti nak jadi matang?kuat boleh tak?.
.ok macam apa cakap sorang-sorang dekat blog.
.to you, my sahabat..i know you are reading this, i know you will never hate me! i know n i just knew. stop lying to yourself. our memories n friendship aint that cheap for you to forget. i know you and dont lie. stop lying to yourself. I dare you to tell me directly how much you hate me, how much you dont want me in your life and how much you want me to leave..tell me directly..please, that's the only way i can move on..i dont believe in reading. not sms not skype, not fb not email.. do me a favor to help me let you go. im not strong to do this alone.

exam mode

dah empat paper berakhir tadi..

pharmacology CNS, physical pharmacy I, pharmacy practice II and organic chemistry..
honestly paper susah gila =.=
sorry umi abah..wuwu..~~
sincerely i just wish kalaulah ada masa yg ckp..
but dont blame masa..maybe aku yg xstudy dari awal..
tapi assignment n report sangat banyak..
cmne nak study..wuwu~~
ok2 dah jgn nak meraung..
next sem manage your time..
this is what pharmacist student are supposed to pay kot..
tape2..future may be brighter..~

p/s: i really miss u..u know who u are..i still have hope that one fine day, we''ll gone through all this..you will be stronger..and I just knew that you never hate me..n never will..you care for me..then and now..but i will let u have your time..dear bestfriend, come back when u feel its time..forgive me..:'(

Sunday, December 18, 2011

arms



I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go


I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home

Saturday, December 17, 2011

love story- talk of the town~

ni dah entry ke 3 kot pasal love story neh..
pape pon..if u are following my blog u'll know u can count berapa entry yang i wrote on love story..~

nowadays seriously banyak gila kot orang dok berkata tentang couple tu haram and etc..
aku tahu benda ni since matrix..
but i dont bother much..
just dengar jelah..and somehow just terima je benda tu..
BUT..bila dah makin lama diorang bincang bend ni..
i made my own initiative to search for it for the sake of knowledge..
tak salah kan tmbh ilmu..lagipon u know..
im a girl..girl loves love story..~yada2..

for me..what's wrong in couple is the thing yang diorang buat..
expecially the normal things that they thought is a compulsary kalau in the relationship..
tak paham?
semua benda yang tak boleh antara lelaku and perempuan yang bukan mahram..
pegang tangan and etc.
untuk cakap benda ni haram or tak, im not the person to talk about it..

so from what i understand and what i read through things here and there..
and i actually pernah tanya benda ni tu my lecturers..
this is a few yang i got..






nak lagi?? korng boleh tengok kat blog theotherkhairul untuk baca details and other rujukan he gave..promote blog dia skali since he's blog usually kutuk perempuan..but what he said is actually true..*sigh..

people, tak semua bnda kita boleh jatuhkan hukum sesuka hati..
and tak semua bnda kita boleh terima bulat2..
once we read something lagi2 dekat alam maya ni..
do your research first before conclude it..
and the most important thing is, find a teacher..
kitorang pernah tanya lecturer kat matrix pasal couple since dia pon baru kawen ngan tunang dia..kui3..
so dia kata, couple ni kalau untuk awak..apa tujuan dia??
perjalanan awak masih jauh lagi..kalau awak mmg nak kawen ngan dia lainlah..~

so make sure u know what's your goal people..
and dalam Islam kita ada konsep zuhud..
maksudnya bersederhana..
bersederhanalah dalam menyayangi someone..

'Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesua tu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.' - Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216'

p/s: kawan aku bercinta tak pegang2, boleh je bertahan sampai bertahun2..~~huhu

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

blog.blogwalking.

assalamualaikum..

hye dear blogger, and blogwalker yang berjalan2 di blogku yang dah macam sawang labah2 kot..
sekarang ni having a blog is like a new-in-thing..
but who cares..i made my blog since i have finished my SPM *riaklah??padahal update ciput je.
sorry peeps for not updating something yg informative or menarik..
i have my own world i have to dealt with..
yeah, this is actually a personal blog yang not too personal..
i've been writing some random stuff here and there..
my private life?
yeah..here and there...hihi..
too much that i wanna said but i just couldnt..
despite blog slalu jadi tempat maki hamun, caci maki, burukkan orang..
im telling my story..
how i felt and about me..
kalau aku ada sentuh beberapa manusia dalam hidup aku,
its either you are my dearest bestfriend, your story really do need to be shared to people for inspiring others or you are awesome!
kalau aku marah orang, sedih*like previous entry..i wont said your name nor said something stupid like insulting them..i dont want people to do the same to me..
just what i felt..
aku takkan tulis blog and delete entry..
this is aint an FB status people..
in blogging world, what you have written, orang akan baca..
and people tend not to forget what they had read.
so think wisely before clicking the publish button.



Saturday, December 3, 2011

december..

back to december..-taylor swift..
november dah berlalu..
i always have an awesome november..
my november..always and forever..
this november..i might not forget it..
i gain something and lost something..
i laugh and i cry..
cherished the moment..and think back of the memory left..
kita takkan mampu untuk mengambil peluang yang baru andai kedua belah tangan kita digenggam..belajarlah untuk melepaskan..hanya dengan itu kita berjaya menggenggam sesuatu yang baru
the risk that i took..i hope its the best..
i hope you wont make me regret on the things that i sacrifice.


p/s: sekalipun matahari hilang ditutup awan..cahayanya masih menerangi bumi..~
nak membenci seseorang bukan mudah dan bukan aku..lagi2 membenci orang yang kita sayang..~

Thursday, December 1, 2011

~~

satu masa dulu..
seseorang pernah cakap ayat ni dekat aku..
aku tak kisah kalau orang yang aku sayang bahagia dengan someone yang baik, yang betul2 deserve dia..macam kau pon takpe..huhu (dia, 2009/2010)




p/s: waktu ni kita tengah melepak kat bilik kau sambil makan cucur udang..bergosip pasal orang rumah bawah, cullen n etc..mungkin dah lupa kot..papelah..kenangan aku bukan macam mimpi..bangun tdo terus lupa..~


Monday, November 28, 2011

diam bila marah~

dont make promises when you are happy..
and dont make decision when you are angry..
dont said anything when you are angry..
im sorry..
aku tau that day aku betul2 marah, terkilan and kecewa dengan apa yang kau buat kat aku..
aku dah terlepas cakap dekat kau..
and aku regret dengan apa yang aku cakap..
sebab tu selama ni bila aku marah aku takkan tulis or cakap apa2..
sebab aku takut aku akan terlepas kata..
even my family knows about this..
when i said something when i'm mad,
its gonna be painful.
maybe aku bodoh sbb bagi chance lagi..
but the situation now is that,
i wouldnt left..not then..not now..insyaAllah..
take your time sampai kau betul2 heal and ready..
aku minta maaf..~~

Saturday, November 26, 2011

the end?

terima kasih weyh..
memang sakit Ya Allah..
sakit sangat..
reason tu aku tak boleh terima langsung..

dalam dunia ni..
memang kita akan nampak manusia lain lbh sempurna daripada kita..
tapi kenapa mesti terlalu merendahkan diri kita..
Allah je yang boleh judge kita..
kau ada kelebihan kau..
and aku ada kelebihan aku..
aku bukan sempurna..

ptg tadi aku letak gambar peddy teddy as phone nye wallpaper..
rindu..
tapi nampaknya tak ada yang hargai pon..~~

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Yuna Zarai - Im Not Like You



I stood by you
I didn't have to
And if I knew
I'd go away

I'm not like you
I dont backstab
My dear you should be better than that

Sorry if I never call like you did
And you know, you know
You dont really have to
I try to come around come around you
All you really gave, you really gave back was hatred

I gave you my all back then
Whenever you needed me
You're lies they cut through my skin whenever I reach For you, for you, for you..

I'm not like you
I dont backstab
My dear you should be my best friend

Sorry if I never call like you did
And you know, you know
You dont really have to
I try to come around come around you
All you really gave, you really gave back was hatred

I gave you my all back then
Whenever you needed me
You're lies they cut through my skin whenever I reach For you, for you, for you..

And anything for you my friend

p/s: i've been listening to this songs for ages..*duh, dayah mmg ko dah khatam sume lagu yuna kot.. i dont know why but yuna's song do describe me a lot..
tak mungkin untuk aku buang rasa sayang pada seorang sahabat yang pernah ada dengan aku suatu ketika dulu..
TAK MUNGKIN..!
walaupon aku tau dia sangat membenci aku sekarang..
im not like you..
i cant give you hatred..
im just sorry to care for you till know..
sakit untuk aku hadapi..
tapi kaki aku macam tak nak melangkah dari kenangan kita dulu..
maaf!

Monday, November 14, 2011

november! birthday!


happy birthday!
i know this is incomparable to my birthday surprise!
but just to say..
thank you and happy birthday!
anda sudah tua!
jangan lupa tu..keh3..
may Allah bless you..
may our friendship will always be blessed by Allah..
insyaAllah..<3
jangan senyum sorang2 bila baca ni okie..=P
sapa rasa anda lahir pada hari ini..selamat hari lahir ye.huhu

Sunday, November 6, 2011

surprise! surprise!







okie entry ni tanpa tulisan..sendiri faham okie??


nanitehayindayah


this is my 2nd update for today..
but yeah! aku tengah membuang masa..
macam tak ada assignment..
tapi perlu, wajib dan urgent untuk aku beritahu mereka!kih3..
aku sangat-sangat-sangat bersyukur kot ada mereka dalam hidup ni..
ALHAMDULILLAH..
tak tahu na cakap macam mana..
my 20th birthday is AWESOME because if this 3 beautiful lady!
diorang buat surprise which is meaningful for me..
i cant say the words how awesome they are..
5 tahun umur persahabatan kita..
diorang sentiasa ada dengan aku..
kalau dulu contact dekat phone memang agak jarang..
tapi sekarang dengan kewujudan twitter, pergh bahagia!
hari-hari update perkembangan..
muka kita je update timeline..but who cares!
this is my girlfriend and im proud to have them in my life..
mereka dah pernah tengok aku gembira, sedih, kecewa, frust, menangis, marah dan segala bentuk facial expression and emosi lah..kui3..
antara kita, we show the part of us yang orang lain tak nampak..
nakal kita camne..keh3..*ok kita senyap..jangan bgtau orang tau..hehe
diorang share the most memorable moment in my life..
kita share camne result pmr, spm..
our future..
what i can conclude is we share EVERYTHING..
even our family kenal kita semua..haha..
I LOVE YOU and this entry is specially for you..
thank you, thank you Allah!hehe





twenty~

04th november..

yup, i am officially 20 years young..
haha..muda lah jugak walaupon usia dah bertambah..
saham tengah naik ni..kui3..
ok stop merepek..

selama 20 tahun aku hidup ni, mungkin pengalaman ak masih belum cukup,
aku masih lagi dalam proses belajar tentang kehidupan,
dan proses ni is a continuos process..
tak sepanjang masa kita gembira, tak sepanjang masa kita sedih..
bukan selamanya kita berada di atas, tapi apabila kita jatuh, biarlah kejatuhan tu menjadikan kita seorang yang lebih tabah dan cekal dan kita boleh bangkit dengan bangga..

20 tahun, mengajar aku nilai persahabatan,
siapa yang ada dengan kita susah dan senang..
betullah kata cousins aku..

'kau ni terlalu ambil berat dengan persahabatan sebab kawan-kawan kau semua perempuan, kau terlalu rapat dengan diorang..berbeza kawan antara lelaki and perempuan..sebab lelaki lebih cool dalam berkawan..'

apa yang diorang cakap ni betul,
sebab aku tak ada kawan lelaki kecuali bila aku masuk matrix.
and kawan lelaki kat matrix bagi aku lebih kepada family..
diorang banyak tolong aku and jaga aku macam abang jaga adik..
yelah aku tak ada abang..huhu
kadang-kadang bila aku ada masalah, diorang yang paling awal datang..
kalau tak mesej, diorang akan telefon..walaupon diorang pon ada banyak masalah sendiri..

20 tahun kehidupan ni jugak ajar aku yang kita takkan mampu nak buat semua orang suka kita,
tak semua dapat terima kita macam mana,
dan tak semua kenal kita yang sebenar,
people often judge us without knowing us.
yes, aku pernah menangis sebab aku dapat tahu orang tak suka aku.
naive? yup i am..
for the first time aku nangis depan family aku on the reason yang bila fikir balik, not worth it..
dan selepas tu aku mula untuk terima,
kehidupan ni kita tak mampu nak puaskan hati semua pihak.
kalau kita jaga hati semua orang, siapa nak jaga hati kita?

dalam masa aku hidup ni jugak,
aku belajar yang ada ramai lagi manusia yang sayang kita,
kita tak sedar tu sebab kita sibuk nak buat orang yang benci kita suka kat kita.
bila aku menangis, baru aku nampak yang ramai yang cuba untuk lap airmata aku..
which in the end, make me crying even more *sigh..
ala..aku memang sensitif lah..senang kecik hati, senang terharu..haila~~huhu

jadi untuk terus hidup bahagia dalam hidup ini,
aku kena yakin yang Allah tu adil, dan dah beri yang terbaik untuk aku..
setiap yang terjadi, akan ada hikmah dia..
and bila masa berlalu baru aku akan nampak hikmah dia..
Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving me these people:

-who hate me for what the worse they see in me so that i can improve to the better..
-for those who left me to make me stronger,
-for those who give me memory in my life so my life will be colourful..
-and for those who always love me, love me for ALLAH..if you love me, do it because of HIM, bring me closer to HIM..will ya??

sometimes i wish i can change some part of my life..but siapa aku untuk menolak takdir, qada' dan qadar Allah..aku dah berusaha untuk buat yang paling baik..pasti ada hikmah yang tersembunyi..
aku tak salahkan mereka yang berlalu pergi dalam hidup aku..
sebab semuanya hanya satu persinggahan..
pergilah andai itu yang terbaik..kehadiran anda dalam hidup ni, bukan sebagai mimpi, ianya realiti dan yang pasti ia sesuatu yang sangat memberi impak dalam hidup ni..


terima kasih sahabat sebab bagi corak dalam hidup ni..
semoga Allah memberkati persahabatan dan memori kita semua..
dan semoga kita diberi kebahagiaan dalam hidup..
i will be happy when all the person I love happy..
and I LOVE YOU~!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

reality

Some of us are very good at giving advice to others but when it comes to ourselves, we fail miserably.

Sometimes, the girl who seems so strong & never let what people say bothers her is the girl who's falling into pieces


assalamualaikum..
so these quotes truly describe me
people often seeks advices from me.
i seem so strong on the outside
but believe me, you never knew whats going on inside of me
what i've been through..
im the person who just couldn cry infront of people
if i did, thats mean you hurt me too much
im not the person who could cry just for anything,
but i CAN cry by just describing myself.
cause for me, i never show the weak side of me towards other..
except for my family and my girlfriend.
but i know, i have so many secrets even from them.
its not that i dont want to reveal it but i just couldnt express it.
i can cry when im alone
and then smile infront others as if nothing goes wrong.
if you could see my tears thats mean i am really hurt that i just need someone that i trust to support me.
and i can cry just by hearing people describe me.
everyone knows im expression-less.
this reality just make me feel sad.
i cant talk about it.
but yeah writing do heal a bit but still words couldnt describe me precisely.
YOU are complicated Nurul Hidayah.
do you know that?

i dont know why but writing this out do make me feel like crying.

p/s: break-up a friendship is so much painful compared to breaking up with a lover. despite both break your heart. :'(


Monday, October 31, 2011

i know you never meant to make me feel this way~

dont know, dont know if i can do this on my own
why do you have to leave me?
its seems im losing something deep inside of me
hold on, on to me

now i see, now i see
everybody hurt somedays
its okay to be afraid
everybody hurt, everybody screams
everybody feels this way, its okay

it feels like nothing really matters anymore
when you're gone i cant breath
and i know you never meant to make me feel this way
this cant be happening

so many questions too much in my mind
so many answers i cant find
wish i can turn back the time
i wonder why~

(everybody hurt-avril lavigne)




Saturday, October 29, 2011

Optimislah, jangan pernah berputus asa dan menyerah tanpa usaha. Berbaik sangkalah kepada Allah. Dan tunggulah segala kebaikan dari-Nya. #LaTahzan


aku yakin, setiap yang berlaku ada hikmah dia.
apa yang tertulis, yang kau baca, semua tu antara kau dan aku.
tak ada sesiapa yang nampak dan tahu.
kau mungkin salahkan aku sebab aku tak faham.
aku memang tak paham apa yang terlindung.
aku perlukan penjelasan bukan kiasan.
semuanya dah berakhir dengan satu penjelasan.
tapi bukan ni yang aku harapkan.
salah aku.
mungkin?
sebab aku manusia yang tak mampu hidup dalam diam.
aku tak mampu hidup terus memendam rasa.
sifat aku untuk selalu jujur dan meluahkan apa yang terbuku.
sebab bila semua telah aku luahkan, takkan ada lagi penyesalan, takkan ada lagi ungkit-mengungkit.
kuasa untuk satu penyelesaian masalah adalah kejujuran.
aku terlalu jujur, sbb itu sifat aku.
sampai bila berdiam?
diam hanya akan buat keadaan semakin sulit sebab perasaan tidak puas hati itu terkumpul.
itu prinsip aku.
bila tak puas hati, luahkan.
yang sudah tu sudah.
takkan ada perulangan.
......................................................................................................................................................................

bahagiakah bila satu persahabatan terpaksa diputuskan?
biarlah kita yang tahu.
kau mungkin akan lebih gembira disamping kawan-kawan kau.
yang pasti bukan dengan aku.

Friday, October 28, 2011

memorable~

thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..
and thanks Allah for this day..
thanks Allah for giving me this person in my life..
those who really care about me,
those who went so much for me,
being there for me,
bare with me in all situation,
bare with the bad and emotional me,
sharing happiness for me..
make me feel valuable,
make me feel loved.
YOU did make me smile for this whole awesome day..
YOU are awesome..
thanks for today,
thanks for the surprise(s).
though i usually not into surprises, but sure i love you guys!!!
you, who've been there when i cry but make me smile in the end..
just want you to know, that i really thank you for making my life interesting, to make my life easier, for make my life cheerful..
you colured my life..
I love you so much..
you give sunshine in my life..
thank you..
you know who you are..<3

p/s: the picture will be uploaded soon..im just to exhausted from all the happiness you give today..hehe..nanti ye!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

my wish list

★ I want the blessing from Allah throughout my life.
★ I want to be succeed in my life not only as a pharmacist but also a good muslim
★ I want to search for HIS love.
★ I want to be a good daughter
★ I want to be a good friend
★ I want to be better
★ I want to be the guidance as that's the responsibility i've taken from my name given- hidayah~
★ I want to be a good sister
★ saya nak mereka yang berada dalam hidup saya sekarang akan terus berada dalam hidup saya kecuali atas janji Allah yang pasti iaitu kematian
★i wish i could see everyone happy with me
★ i wish i can make you happy

insyaAllah..dengan izin Allah~

Friday, October 21, 2011

mari membebel 2~

finished 6 papers for this week..

fewwwhh..how is it??
not going to talk about this..
honestly, banyak gila drug name nak kene hafal..and nama tak boleh pulak kalau tak membelit lidah aku..
haila, haila...tak rock arr pharmacist tak blaja pharmaco and tak belit-belit lidah kan??
and maybe sebab ni kami belajar communication english with all the proper pronounciation of each and all alphabets??*erk..im not sure if we are going to talk to our patient with the british english and american english (great, while writing this, im saying all the words with the britishaccent..hua3..)
for all the examination, i think this is the most depressed examination i ever had kot..
i dont know what happen, but i have mood swing through out the week..
sapa-sapa cari pasal ngan aku memang nak kena lah kan..
and really-really-really thank you dekat awak-awak-awak-awak sebab tahan dengan tahap swing saya yang macam tsunami kot..xde alarm pape..tiba-tiba nak ngamuk..kui3..*blush~

but there is a saying,

'if you can be with me throughout the worst of me, then you worth to get the best of me..'

love you guys lah! you know who you are..
thanks for all the support throughout the day when i just need someone to say that its okay to cry, its okay to just membebel kat twitter..and it just nice to know someone that appreciate us and will be happy when we are happy..thank you..!! i've gain my strength!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

get up!

assalamualaikum..

lets just read through all this retweet first:

~BFF……. B- stands for best, F- stands for friends, but the other F stands for FOREVER

~Sometimes some people come into our lives, make a huge impact on it & slowly fade away & there's nothing we can do about it.

~It's because#scorpios only care about a few & show this softer side to a few. The rest of the world sees our cold exterior

~If u turn ur back on #scorpio & realize u made a mistake, understand that it's too late for things to be normal again

~When hurt, #scorpio's have the inate ability to make you invisible,act as if you're dead to them.


Everything you see & everything you hear, definitely affects your heart..

Letting go hurts, but you know that if you were to keep holding on, you'll hurt yourself even more.

"You have 2 friends in this life: 1.ALLAH 2.Those who remind you of ALLAH

i know exactly what really happen between the two of us..
I had asked you the same question from the start and it had been almost a year and you always denied it!
if you be honest with me on your true feelings from the beginning, i could stop all this from the start..
why dont you stop us??
why must you sacrifice our friendship?
kau tahu camne aku value friendship kan?
once i accept a person in my life, i gained trust..it WONT be that easy for me to let it go?
so why now are you showing your little objection??
sorry aku buat kau sakit hati, kau rasa sakit dengan apa yang aku buat..
cuba kau fikir balik? betul ni yang kau nak??
adil ke kau buat aku macam ni sebab benda yang hanya kau je yang tahu..
sebab perasaan kau sendiri?
i dont wanna make assumption..tapi there are lots of thing yang aku sendiri nmpak..
and you yourself nak aku assume n paham sendiri kan??
what you should know is that I HATE making choices..
and i wont choose anything over anything..
i just wish you to be happy, its your choice..
bila orang dah berpaling daripada kita, pilihan apa yang boleh kita ambil selain teruskan kehidupan..
just one thing, bila kau perlukan aku, you just have to turn around..
if I'm not there..just remember that my prayer is always be with you..~



Sunday, October 9, 2011

talking to the moon~

talking to the moon
trying to get to you
in hopes you're on the other side talking to me too
or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon
(talking to the moon-bruno mars)


yeah..this phrases truly said what deeply inside my heart.
i am trying to get to you..
i am hoping for you to talk to me..
i am trying really hard for saving this friendship..
and its true what people around told me..
bertepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi..
this not just implies to just a relationship..but also a friendship..
remember that!
in any relationship there should be a give and take..
and nak tau what people told me for thousands of time??

' kau tak rasa kau je yang try untuk selamatkan friendship ni? bila kau nak belajar untuk let her go??'

BUT I ignore all that..i never listen..cause I truly care and love you..
you are my sahabat..and aku tau how u've changed..
but aku rasa you changed only with me..
seeing you with the other of our friend..macam tak ada pape pon..
kau boleh je tegur diorang cam biasa..
im sorry im beeing emotional here..
but i dont know what i did wrong..
so maybe i could conclude that i did a mistake that I just dont realize and you are just had enough of me..
if only i could..I would want to know the reason..seriously..
but knowing you..
that just an impossible..
silence is YOU..tapi silence wouldnt do any good..
our mistake is that..kita xpernah selesaikan semua ni..
each time things happen..either aku yg bawa diri..or kau yang terasa..we just apologized without exlaining..
this time..it just couldnt worked out..
apologizing couldnt do anything..

anda, aku diam bukan bermaksud aku dah lupa kau..sungguh aku rindu gila kau..tapi bila ingat balik sampai bila benda ni nak berulang banyak-banyak kali..and sampai bila hati aku nak sakit je bila kau ignore aku..atau mungkin hati kau sakit sebab aku..aku rasa memang aku kene biarkan kau dengan kehidupan kau sekarang..aku tak harap apa-apa dari kau..cuma aku nak kau gembira cam dulu..salah aku kot semua ni..apa-apa pon kau tak perlu mintak maaf sebab kau tak buat salah pon dengan aku..~just be happy with your life..its all that I want..and please be happy with me..




Tuesday, October 4, 2011

lesson on sahabat~

assalamualaikum dear sahabat..
oit! pe kaba?? lama xdengar cte ko..rindu dowh kat ko...!

i always asked this question to you when we chat..
do you know how I miss to said all this to you on the phone?
do you know how i miss hearing you asking me those question just like old time..?
you dont..thats why you never called and you just answer..' oit..bese je..xde cte pon..'
how am i supposed to prolong the conversation when the only words that i get is that?
how am i supposed to said this on phone when you never pick up my call?
thus, i ignored the coldness you created and still acting cheer n happy cause i truly miss you..
when actually the moment i asked you that, im hoping for you to asked me back on how's my condition..
BUT you never asked..

so i tried to talk..i tried to create conversation..
i tried my best to just make you say something..
but i failed..
how am i supposed to make a conversation when you obviously dont want to share anything with me?

sometimes..when you are in stress and have a problem..
i give advices to give you strength..
i asked you to seek Allah cause He knew the best..
but the only words that i hear is..'aku tak baik macam ko..'
what am i supposed to said anymore when my advices are just 'too good' for you..

for each things that i did..for each things that i make..
i never heard the words thank you..
for every action that i made, the only thing i get from you is sarcasm and critics..
and those words that made to annoyed me..
BUT I stayed here with you when you never see me right besides you..
maybe Im just a blind spot on your sides..Im there but you couldnt see..

what I'm asking you isn't much..
I just want you to stop being cold with me..
I'm once the person you called just because you are bored, because something new happen to you, when something too good or too bad happen..to share just a story despite its just a simple and plain story..just for the sake of saying something to each other..

BUT now..I'm the person who you give your harsh words to, person you dont want to talk to, person you no longer called, person you just want to ignore and a person whom you might just get annoyed..I dont know the reason why we changed..why we have to be like this..I never know the reason you did all those things to me..I never get a single explanation on it..~

i've been crying and hurting so much for the things that happen between us..
and that's why I've stopped asking how you've been and make distance from you..
this might be what you really want from me..~~~

I'm sorry if what i asked is too much..
but I just wish for once dear sahabat..
I never hate you..instead I love you so much..
but could you please be happy for me??
just the way I'm happy when I see you happy..


Sunday, October 2, 2011

lesson to learn~

Adam.. jangan terlalu murah dalam berbicara dan jangan terlalu mudah engkau mengucapkan 'I LOVE U' dan 'I MISS U' kepada hawa kerana engkau pun tahu hawa itu sangat rapuh hatinya dan sangat mudah goyah imannya. Jika engkau ikhlas bergerak di jalan Allah dan ikhlas ingin memiliki mereka, maka datangilah wali mereka dengan lafaz bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Hawa...jangan terlalu mudah engkau menilai hati seorang adam daripada kata-kata dan paras rupa,kerana engkau tidak akan dapat bezakan antara cinta yang suci dan nafsu. Peliharalah maruah diri mu untuk mereka yang halal terhadap mu. Bercintalah kerana Allah...''

Saturday, October 1, 2011

mari membebel~

kerja banyak..tapi aku rasa nak membebel di sini..kih3* lately suka je ketawa camni di alam maya..=P


as usual, when demsel in stress, i always update my blog..
kesian blog..umpama tempat luahan perasaan..
arini nak merepek pasal heels..
I love heels/ gladiator/ wedges..
seriously super lawa kot..
BUT!! obiviously people, NURUL HIDAYAH SHEIKH ABDULLAH dont have a lots of shoes, hate shopping for shoes, wont wear heels/ wedges for shopping and jalan2.. and i can count my shoes in one hand kot..huhu..

WHY?
here I'll list out the answer..
★ HURT
ok, sincerely there are few of my wedges or heels that are realllllyyyy comfortable and it does not feel tinggi at all..but..to wear it for a day of walking, running and standing..each time i went home, i have to massage and soaked my feet in hot water(best gle!)..and only that i'll feel relieved..so why hidayah dont wear it if I have the solution already..move on to the next reason..

MSU
apa kene mengena MSU dengan heels/wedges??? meh sini aku cite..aku ke sekolah dengan menaiki kenderaan sendiri, my baby cannary bak kata cik tehafauzi..sepanjang kehidupan aku kat MSU itu aku takpernah parking dekat tempat letak kereta yang di sediakan..aku parking kat tesco or belakang tesco which is near to Les' Copaque office(ala upin ipin tu).. then aku berjalan kaki..jauh..namun kerana kejadian MBSA telah memberi 'love letter' dekat aku maka dengan niat jimatkan duit aku pon parking kat parking MSU..napa baru sekarang?? sebab parking MSU tu macam construction site..jalan guna flat shoes pon rasa cam nak jatuh tersepak batu-batu tu..inikan lagi nak pakai heels yang 5 inci tu..hampeh lah kan..huhu

STAIRCASE MSU
MSU lagi..MSU ni banyak tangga..nak masuk MSU tu je naik tangga dah tinggi..pastu bila nak pegi kelas pulak konon lah boleh naik lif..aku memang lucky sebab kecik boleh menyelit-nyelit berebut naik lif tu..tapi kalau dah tak boleh sangat-sangat tu..tercungaplah nak naik kelas..kelas aku tak sah kalau tak naik sampai tingkat tujuh dan keatas..kala kelas level 13/14 camne??
dahlah pakai formal hari-hari..patah kaki kalau heels je hari-hari..

JALAN LAJU
ye aku manusia yang suka jalan laju..pantang aku lah kalau ada pakaian/ aksesori/ kasut yang boleh membataskan pergerakan aku..cam nak tanggalkan je..huhu..so bila aku beli kasut aku akan make sure aku mampu bergerak tanpa batasan dan mampu berlari dengan kasut tu..ini penting ye untuk fight-or-fight response..balik dah lah asyik lewat malam je..parking tu tinggal keta aku je..MSU dah lah banyak BBoy(bangla boy)~adess...


Thursday, September 29, 2011

bila exam dah dekat~

im having the most hectic week for this sem *for now..~

i have classes 9 to 8..which have only 1/2 hour gap..
i have to pass up tons of assignment, lab report, quizes and etc..
i have swollen gum..
my eyes get infectious/ allergic reaction due to the changes of eyeliner * its common for me..
i have lots of thing to think..
just please understand me..
im exhausted, super stress out, super senstive..
just for this moment, do understand me..
when im in stress i overthink things and each small things do give impact on me..
thanks dear besties..nanitehayin..
korang memang terbaeklah sebab bertahan baca twitter yg asyik update setiap minit ble tgh stress out..n comfort me, giving support and cheer me up..thanks!!

dear Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusanku..hanya padaMu aku berserah dan bertawakkal..lindungilah kami dari keaiban dan azab di dunia dan akhirat..~

Saturday, September 24, 2011

♥ memo♥


i dont mind if you wanna stay
with the smile upon your face
hang around for a little while
please dont drive away even for a mile
different continent is not a thing
cause i know we'll be okay
endless borders countless days
our love will pave the way
~ memo by yuna ~

Monday, September 12, 2011

♥♥♥


lyin' here with you so close to me
its hard to fight these feelings
when it feels so hard to breathe
caught up in this moment
caught up in your smile

I've opened up to anyone
so hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms
we dont need to rush this
Lets just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch in the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight


I know that if we give this a little time
It will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right


~just a kiss-lady antebellum~




Tuesday, September 6, 2011

semangat untuk sahabat~

dear sahabat..
who've been in tears right now..
kita dah lama kenal..5 tahun dah berlalu..
cukup untuk kitorang tau yang kau sangat sedih walaupon kau cuba senyum depan semua orang..
cukup untuk kitorang tau apa yang tersirat dalam hati kau..
kuatkan lah semangat sayang..
walau apa pon decision yang kau buat, walau orang lain pandang camne pon kat kau kitorang akan sentiasa kat sini support kau..
sekalipun kau hilang dia..insyaAllah kitorang tetap sayang kau..
kawan mana nak tengok kawan diorang terluka..
dah banyak yang kau dah lalui demi dia..
your tears are not worth it my dear..
aku sentiasa believe in second chance but third chance is rarely given..
and if there is third chance it means final..
and the person who does not appreaciate it aren't meant to be considered in our future..
bukan mudah untuk kau lalui semua ni..
cuma buatlah decision yang terbaik..keputusan yang datang dari Allah..
Istikharah is always the final way that we've look at but it always the best~

kepada si dia kesayangan sahabatku..
entry ni bukan untuk sakitkan anda..
bukan jugak nak maki hamun anda..
kitorang sayang kawan kitorang..
dan kami tau macam mana sayang dia pada anda..
her first love and the one she's been faithful for years
kami cuma berharap, janganlah permainkan hati dia..
she seem so strong outside, but her inside is so fragile..
she had been through a lot..we've been there when she cried..
we've seen the sorrow she had..
maybe anda tak nampak sebab tu anda sanggup buat dia camtu..
kami tak halang andai ada jodoh korang..
kami menyokong seratus peratus keputusan dia..
tapi andai dia memberi peluang sekali lagi..
tolong hargai dia sebaik mungkin..
kami tak nak dia menangis lagi..
we also hurt when she's broken inside~

p/s: sahabat, sebab sayang aku buat entry ni..praying the best for you..we love you..be strong!

Friday, August 26, 2011

junior and photoshoot~

wednesday, 12.00 pm..


waiting for the junior in the junior's class (anatomy)
mr log was preparing the lecture materials with the staff's id holder on his neck..
practicing his indian accent..
then the junior came and look blurred when entering the class with the seniors..
the class representative came to us and ask..'do you have class here..?'
we: yup..anatomy class..
junior: owh..then, can u choose one representative so that i could inform about the class??
...........
i'm actually holding my laughter when he said that..
and thanks to yoke for answering him..
............
the class start.. and miss lau came and scold us for suddenly 'repeating' the course..
then the lecture start..
while mr log presenting, we were actually doing our assignment..
and answering mr log's question..
the situation is totally looks like a hyperactive-annoying-know-everything-senior..
haha..seriously we are that annoying to some extend they dont like us being there..~
...........
class ends..
mr log: im not actually your lecturer..i am your senior..and all the repeating students back there are actually your senior..they came just to meet the junior..not a single person went to meet us..

yeah! my junior just got prank..haha..n yup, betuah lah korang dapat senior cam kitorang yang sanggup turun padang jenguk korang dalam kelas..masa zaman aku masuk MSU tu..satu hape pon aku tak tau..blurr sorang-sorang je kat situ..
whatever it is..welcome to the pharmacist student life my junior!hohoho~~
we're family..tak mainlah buli junior..hehehe..
............
03.00pm-tasik mahkamah, shah alam..
photoshooting time!!
as usual im the driver..
this time we dress-to-kill lah..
tak pernah aku nak pakai skirt bagai..
harini atas desakan sarah..i wore a skirt..
haha..
dah2..malas nak cte panjang..tg gmbr je..okie??







Tuesday, August 23, 2011

wordless tuesday


saying I love you
is not the words i want to hear from you
its not that i want you not to say
but if you only knew
how easy it would be to show me how you feel
more than words
is all you have to do to make it real
then you wouldn't have to say
that you love me
cause i'd already know
- more than words, westlife-

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

wordless wednesday




Saturday, August 13, 2011

shopping~


assalamualaikum..=)


hola!!
im so in the mood right now..
i just went back from shopping~
yeah! i know..LAME! shopping for raya..
but actually..i dont think all the things that i bought is for raya..
its actually my shopping list for my holiday..
but since i didnt go for shopping during my holiday( erk??but i dont buy anything lah)
so i complete the mission today..
since my Umi offer to belanja us..so why not kan??
i bought the shoes, new 'beg sekolah', and a new shirt(or is it a short dress??)
i actually didn't buy any kasut raya..since i have this one old kasut which i rarely wear it ( since i only wear it for dinner/ formal occasion or kenduri)
thus, i decide to wear those for my raya..~
bla bla bla..lets picture tell the story..shall we??

the overall shopping item..including my umi n sis item* which also in my size..muahahaha

forever 21 shoes and no brand bag(i guess)

a short dress..wink2 <3
the one that im planning to wear for raya..~





Friday, August 12, 2011

video lily and olie..

video




holla people..assalamualaikum..
okie korang..ni lah anak2 kepada kucing aku..
owh lupa bagitau..
olie pon dah beranak..tu yang ada 9 ekor kucing semuanya..
anak lily 3 hitam, 1 macam olie, i mcm dia(putih)
anak olie ada 4 ekor..
3 sebijik cam olie..sekor putih..comel je..

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

tahun dua

assalamualaikum..

the title said it all..
im already a second year student and I HAVE A JUNIOR..!
excited terlebih sudah..tapi muka junior belum kelihatan lagi..
pemalas punya senior nak mencari junior..
owh lupa nak bagitau..
sistem kat msu bukan macam kat any IPTA..
ada orientation with the senior as the facilitator..
we have orientation but usually conducted by the SCD (student career development)
so what subject am i taking this semester??

★physical pharmacy I
★organic chemistry
★pharmacy practice II
★pharmacology of central nervous system
★pharmacology of peripheral nervous sytem
★traditional medicine
★communicative english
★islamic studies

amek kau..8 subjek untuk sem ni..haila..
makin turunlah berat anda cik hidayah oii..
cekeding je nanti..
okie..actually the main thing that I want to share is about what i get from the first class for pharmacology of CNS..
during the class..
as usual there's a self introduction part which we already bored about it because we already know each other well( being a year together..how are we not to know each other rite??)
then we were asked..
'why did you choose pharmacy??"
and surprisingly..most of my classmates answer because it is their parents choice..
i have to admit..actually i am one of them..BUT pharmacy IS one of MY option..
so I do enjoy it~
then Dr Santosh(my lecturer), he told us this..

' for whatever reason you choose this course..you have to respect your profession..and keep your professionalism'

I do agree with this..
and here I am sharing this with you guys..
I know some of us went to IPTA with the course that they dont even like and love..instead you hate it a LOT..
but THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN..
u are the one who made the choice to take it..
thus respect the decision you made..
respect your profession..
dont just keep complaining about the course..
about u unable to catch up with it..
you are what you think you are..remember that!
and let time decide the interest you gonna develop..
but remember to open your heart and mind and soul..
pray to Allah cause He always hear us..
He wouldnt give something that wasn't the best for us..
insyaAllah one day you will be thankful for the gift He gave to us..
be proud of your future..~



Sunday, August 7, 2011

question: if the one you love fall for your bestfriend..


friendship and relationship..

seriously i dont really want to talk about this again and again..
this is the only relationship in our life that makes our world chaotic..
i have a question to anyone who could answer this..
why would you sacrifice friendship in order to save love relationship?
and why should we give up love to protect friendship?
why cant we have it both??
for me..a friend will always be there for us..no matter what occasion that we have..
i f the lover does not deserve our friend..
why cant we tell them..isnt friend are the one who's suppose to advice us even if it hurt us the most??
what happen if the one you love fall in love with your bestfriend??
will you leave them or you'll be happy if they get together??
its a tough question..i know..but put the situation in your shoes..
will you be happy for them??
will you leave as a matter of healing the wound and forgetting the one you love??
are u willing to leave your friendship?
u know what..if you did this, what happen to your bestfriend??
they will torn inside..
you leave them because of your love..
it's selfish and cruel..
i know u are the one who have the unrequited love..
but because of that you left a friend??
you are bargaining friendship because of your wounded heart..
but how's your friend? have u considered their feelings?
remember..even if they have someone to love them..it never been the same for someone who have been there for them before they found the one they love..remember that!
and the moment you left them..even if they are happy with their lover..
inside their heart they are hurt and blame themselves for not trying to save the friendship..
think back before you make the decision..
for me, if this situation happen to me..
i will be really sad..
and i will blame myself not to save a friendship and not to make my friend happy..~

isnt friendship is to be there for our friend comes hell and high water?? to be there supporting each other??
isnt love is to see the other person happy no matter with whom they are with??
is it worth to lose one of this to save one of that relationship??
think carefully..~~

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