Wednesday, May 29, 2013

sending sanah.

last Sunday, we all went back to Johore to send Sanah into matricualtion.
*week before, I went to Johore and come back with a sore throat and cough,
and still not recover and my cough is getting worst,
I know, it has been more than a week.*

so, the first impression for matrix Johor is, it is huge and have so many blocks.
unfortunately, when my sister saw her room, she said,
" bilik dia lagi kecik dari bilik kak nurul"
I think it was actually the same but because her closet is in the middle of the room, it make the room crowded.
and they did not provide bed sheet and she has to use her own bed sheet yg colour block sgt..
whatever it is, it is your fate to be there,
to atleast make the same memories that I have in matrix,
believe me,
matrix is just so great and the memories there is irreplaceable and you wouldn't find it elsewhere.
and enjoy your orientation day!

Afterall, when it comes to the word matrix,
all the memories are rushing in..
it is a lie if I said I forgotten everything about matrix,
instead I miss everything.
I don't really like degree life,
if I want to conclude in one sentence, I would say, it is selfish.
I really miss matrix, where we all could laugh and cry under one roof,
to just have someone through out the day is just priceless.
Put it under my shoes,
here, in degree, I only be with my friends in the class.
After class, we went back home.
I almost forget, how it feels like to talk to someone just about everything,
to just gossips around, have fun, talk and let out everything to someone.
It has been a while I keep my mouth shut.
I totally forgot how to even talk randomly and say whatever that came into my mind.
I have forgotten how it feels like to have someone that will support you,
that will wake you up, that will help you, that will just sit with you.
It been a while I have the feeling of dependent on someone.
studies show that you will change every 4 years.
and maybe I am in that phase.
I dont even know how to be the way I was with everyone.
the only place I have to just be me is my home.
Those friendship made during matrix life, is just so valuable.
I just miss that,
when I just could go to anyone whenever I am bored.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

who says?


one girl, hate another girl,
one day that girl knew about it,
she is so sad and dissapointed because she did not know what she did wrong,
She try to ignore that girl because she does not want to make the girl hate her more,
they did not say anything to each other for years,
until one time, when she have no one and alone,
she only have one choice, which is to talk again to her,
each and everyday, is an awkward moment,
each and every move she did is to make sure that the girl does not hate it,
every word she said is so careful,
she is the type who will tell everything to her friend, but she did not.
Just because she does not want her to feel that she is bragging,
she is just being careful everytime,
but now, they are friend,
they seems so awkward,
but what she know is she is her friend,
atleast she have her as her friend. End.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

will everything be the same?

things are a bit complicated each day,
we are all getting busier,
and I don't even know what I want or need to do,
there is a lot of thing but I don't even know where to start,
and in the end I'm on a mood swing and all I want to do is broke down and just lay down,
not doing anything.
and right now, I am not feeling well, sore throats and losing my voice.
the worst part is, I have presentation tomorrow, which I don't know how am I going to do it with this voice,
and with least practice.
I don't really mind presenting infront, because it have been years I'm doing the presentation alone or in group.
so, maybe I just get it done and hoping that my throat will be better by the time I need to present.

sometimes, getting busy is what we have to do,
to ignore what we have in our mind and heart,
busy= accepting reality...or..... ignoring reality.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013


the first experience,
the most controversial General Election.
I was there, I was part of it.
I don't want to say a word on it because,
mencurah minyak ke api, hanya akan memburukkan keadaan.
my voice might be too small, I might be too young to say a word on it,
but what I could see, I couldn't deny.
Everyone have their own opinion,
and everyone strive to make their opinion accepted by others.
Without trying to listen..
afterall listen, listen, listen is what a Malaysian needs..
Malaysian have talk a lot and did not listen..

kepada mereka yang telah menginjak usia 21 tahun,
I was a bit sad, when they CHOOSE not to register as a voter.
they said that, they are not interested on politic, so they did not register intentionally.
they did not know who to choose,
my dear, did you know that it is your responsibility.
Even I who were born on November are still managed to mendaftar, dont give the tak-sempat-daftar excuse.
I WAS like that once, did not want to register...but my dad force me to.
and when I asked him, to whom shall I support and vote for,
he said to me,
" kau dah besar, sebab tu yang boleh mengundi ni yang berusia 21 tahun keatas, dah boleh berfikir sendiri tanpa pengaruh orang lain. Pilihlah yang betul-betul bantu menegakkan Islam."
and yes, he NEVER forced nor influenced me to choose which party or WHO to vote.
I decide it myself after hearing all the campaigns and flyers and manifesto or akujanji and etc FROM BOTH PARTY.
and yes, by time you will realize your capabality to think by yourself,
and most of it to know that the election is not a game,
not just for fun nor for the purpose of following others.
It is beyond all that, it is a RESPONSIBILITY.
The least is, in the akhirat, I could answer to HIM on what I have done to my country,
I have choose who I believe can lead us in the Islamic way,
and if the leader dissapoint us, that is what he is preparing for to answer at the day of judgement to all his citizen and most of it to the Lord, Allah.
I have done my part, and now let the government do theirs.
Hoping for a better Malaysia, without racism, without any fights, without fitnah, without corruption.

Saturday, May 4, 2013



sedangkan Tuhan pon ada yang tak dapat terima,
apatah aku hamba yang hina..
siapalah aku nak buat semua orang suka..
owh pliss, kalau hidup hanya dalam masa lampau,
sila tampar diri sendiri kuat2,
moga tersedar sendiri,
sampai bila nak hidup mengejar bayang2,
yang dah lepas buat apa digenggam,
buka genggaman dan genggamlah apa yang mampu di capai..
moga tercapai apa yang dihajati,
insan hina ine berdoa dari jauh.
just my two cents, peace!

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