CONVO!

Convocation day is a day full of love.
It was one of the happiest day in my life.
I still feel excited and still can't get over my convocation day.
Pharmacy school did teach me alot.
This four years is a journey full of lesson.
From friendship, love, life and all the battle within it.
It just couldn't be describe.
I miss to go to class, playing in the lab, hanging out with friends, do events.

My university life was probably much boring than others but surely we all have something special that we had experience.
I am still waiting for my hospital placement, hope will get it soon. Doakan.
Honestly, people keep telling me, pharmacist tak ada life,
even when I'm still studying, everyone said that I don't have life.
I have class when others are in holiday, I have attachment in hospital or industry or community during semester break.
My semester break is only for a month.
And now, when I start working, I will probably can't go back for Raya and etc.
This is a profession that a lot need to be sacrificed.
We aren't as bad as the doctor, but we have our struggle too.
It's okay, setiap orang ada rezeki masing2.
InsyaAllah, akan dipermudahkan semuanya.
During the 4 years of study, whenever I feel it was difficult and I feel like I want to bantai everything,
I told myself to focus, this is not just for a piece of paper.
This is for all the patients that I will meet later in life.
This is for everyone.
This is my commitment.

This is for them. For the love, support, courage. For everything.

First love: Umi, umi and umi

First love and forever boyfriend.

Yin, Bella and Teha. Classmates, University-mate and girlfriends.

Favourite girl. Always.

MSU

The only close up make up look that I have

The first two persons that I met in MSU and BPharm

Friends and clan

Group mates and Team Project. Missing; Damien.

Finally, 4 years for this scroll

abah kata dulu tak sempat convo, dah kena balik Malaysia.

The only OOTD that I have 

                                             

Pre-CONVO!

Assalamualaikum..
Alhamdulillah, it has been 2 weeks actually after my convocation.
I am officially graduated from School of Pharmacy, Management and Science University!
Honestly, there is no word to describe the feeling of finally graduating.
After 4 freaking hectic years of not just studying but university life,
you are finally move into another different hectic life of working.
And since I'm not working yet, my convocation day is something that I can enjoy to the fullest.
Made the preparation as if it was my wedding day..haha..
My preparation list include:

*MSU thing- the most important thing for convocation; payment, survey, rehearsal, robe * payment is freaking expensive for rental of robe for ONE day and photos.

* outfit- I choose modern baju kurung songket just because I always find that songket is elegant and it will look good with the robe outside.

*make up- the first thing that my junior told me when I told them I'm graduating was, 'tak sabar nak tengok akak make up'. Seriously, I've been deliberating whether to put on make up, whether a simple make up or a smokey look, or just an eyeliner and lipstick. Even for lipstick I really am not sure whether to wear a bold lipstick, a nude lipstick or just my everyday lipstick which is almost the same lip colour that I have. It is hard to decide since I don't want to look exaggerated nor look super pale on picture. This gonna last forever you know. On that day, I end up wearing a light smokey eyeshadow and nyx stockholm matte lipcream which is my favourite and it's a nude lipcolour but it suits me and it last until the end of the day!

*skincare- most important thing is skin care. Lik,e I really took care of my skin every day without skipping a day. Always2 clean my skin thoroughly, tone it carefully and moisturize it evenly. Since I have an uneven skin tone, I have to use whitening serum atleast at night. Healthy skin is always better than being good on make up. The final outcome of this continuous care is my skin really look glowing during my convo day.

*Diet- I've lost a lot of weight actually for the past 6 months but then my appetite has come back, and I've been eating constantly. Although when I went to MSU a week before the event, my friends told me that I look skinny than before. Thus, I just control what I eat, and yet, I am satisfied with my look during the day.

* Photograph- Being me, I am super perfectionist when it comes to photography, since it gonna last forever. Unfortunately, I can't took my own photos, thus, I have to make sure everything from head to toe is perfect. Even for my parents, I choose a suit for abah and a very elegant and exclusive baju kurung from Umi's wardrobe. For my siblings, they are better at dressing up. MSU have a very beautiful spot for taking pictures. So, I would have care less where to take picture and etc. Even on that day, I just randomly take picture anywhere that I could since there were so many people. Yet, I'm glad all the pictures are good.

few days before my graduation day, Nani asked me to accompany her to malacca and she wants to have dinner with all my gfs since she could not make it to my convo day. Thus, we went to her grandfather's and grandmother's house. Then, she brought me to eat pau sedap and the first original coconut shake that I finally can drink it and not puking. It seriously taste like vanilla shake and anything taste like vanilla is my thing. Afterwards, we fetch Yin at her house and Teha before we went to Grafa for dinner and Sangkaya for dessert. It was a fun date and I really missed my girl.

Next is my rehearsal. It was a day before the day and only after the rehearsal we can grab our robe. Since, we all know we won't have time to take photos with all our classmates and friends, thus we decided to take few shots in msu.

Philophobic

That girl in a grey jubah..
She went to a wedding happily wishing the bride and the groom.
She was so happy to see other people happiness.
The way she's happy to see how lovely her parents are after decades of marriage.
Atleast love still exist somewhere in this world.
She believe that love exist.
She believe everyone were meant for someone.
She believe that loyalty exist and love will never change even thousand of years had passes by.
But those rule, those believes doesn't applied to her.
For her, she's extremely afraid to be hurt again.
One day, if someone told her he'll be there for her forever,
To hold her and embrace her with love,
To stay loyal even there will be so many trials and hardship in life,
To always care for her,
All the images of these make her eyes teary.
She couldn't stop crying for these images because it seems too good to be true.
These images, how could she believe when she had once trusted someone and he broke her..
Making the i-love-you seems so unrealistic. A lie and it fill her thought with just one thing,
What if one day, he realize that he didn't love her anymore? What if he lied? What if he left her? What will happened to her again? Could she handle it again?
And that's the reason behind her tears when she tried to imagine someone's gonna love her.
It is better not to hope someone's gonna be there to love her always. She's happy to attend wedding, to watch romantic movies alone, to went on date with herself and her bestfriend, to hear a proposal but just not the imagination of her own love story. Not yet.

Final decision

Assalamualaikum.

I always have a thought on how life randomly change.
The path that we took,
A tiny decision affect our future.
I've seen a lot of mistakes being done by people around me and mostly my own mistakes.
I've abandoned my friend for love
And love abandoned me for another love.
People abandoned love for another choices.
I chose to be a pharmacist rather than my old ambition as an engineer or dietitian.
People chose to persue their ambition rather than taking a highly-paid-salary courses.
People choose another path than the so-called better path
One single thing change every single thing.
Indeed, I've seen how many people regrets their choice.
Still struggling with the unchoosen path,
The road not taken.
How many people cry for the thing they can't change.
And how many people were confused with the choices they need to make?
A future spouse, future job, just future.
How will you know that you'll end up with the right choice?
What if what we claimed as a right choice is not the right choice?
What if the one we think were destined for us was not the one?
What if, people will end up with someone or some choices because they simply have only that one last choice or there's no other choice other than that?
I often have a thought about this.
What if we choose someone not because they are the one for us,
But because we have reach 'THE age' that we're supposed to get married as everyone else do and end up with just someone who stuck with us at THE age.
Believe me, you don't have to think too much about this.
But when it strucks your mind,
You will never tired to wonder about the whole qada' and qadr.
This subjects often interest me but no one and no creatures will ever know about the world of the unseen.
Allah knows best.

Broke her-yuna

Tell me 
Is this alright with you
Having me in your life
I always thought
That maybe I could be your wife

And I wouldn’t mind living a lie
And still I keep my hopes up
I am out there
Out there lighting the dark
Your words they come so easy
Girl I just want to be me
All the sudden I’m not on your team
Replaced by the prettier things
But I see you with all these girls
I just don’t understand
I guess I’m not like the rest of them

So this is my punishment, punishment, punishment
‘Cause baby I’m in pain, I’m in pain, I’m in pain
I’m just trying to overcome
The fact that maybe I was not enough
The only thing that I could think of
Is whether I should give up

See you can be with any girl you like
You can send them all those fashions and socialite
Buy them all the things your money can buy
You don’t owe nobody an alibi
Go ahead and leave me out of your life
No one’s gonna ask you where you are tonight
You can tell your friends while you’re all hot
Yeah I broke her
But she’ll be alright

I broke her but she’ll be alright
I broke her but she’ll be alright
I broke her but she’ll be alright

I'm broken but I’ll be alright
I'm broken but I’ll be alright