Philophobic

That girl in a grey jubah..
She went to a wedding happily wishing the bride and the groom.
She was so happy to see other people happiness.
The way she's happy to see how lovely her parents are after decades of marriage.
Atleast love still exist somewhere in this world.
She believe that love exist.
She believe everyone were meant for someone.
She believe that loyalty exist and love will never change even thousand of years had passes by.
But those rule, those believes doesn't applied to her.
For her, she's extremely afraid to be hurt again.
One day, if someone told her he'll be there for her forever,
To hold her and embrace her with love,
To stay loyal even there will be so many trials and hardship in life,
To always care for her,
All the images of these make her eyes teary.
She couldn't stop crying for these images because it seems too good to be true.
These images, how could she believe when she had once trusted someone and he broke her..
Making the i-love-you seems so unrealistic. A lie and it fill her thought with just one thing,
What if one day, he realize that he didn't love her anymore? What if he lied? What if he left her? What will happened to her again? Could she handle it again?
And that's the reason behind her tears when she tried to imagine someone's gonna love her.
It is better not to hope someone's gonna be there to love her always. She's happy to attend wedding, to watch romantic movies alone, to went on date with herself and her bestfriend, to hear a proposal but just not the imagination of her own love story. Not yet.