i need hlovate's word..

siapa hlovate..??

hlovate is my favourite writer..

hlovate is a Malaysian which his/her identity is a mystery..

i really love hlovate's word..each time im in sorrow or stress or need guidance..

I always look for hlovate's book..

what hlovate's wrote always sooth my feeling..

each of the story that hlovate tell is reality..

that's what i really felt..

the most meaningful novel is versus..

it tells about the changes that happen in our life..

the turning point..

changes to be close to Allah..

the way hlovate deliver the dakwah are different from others..

teenagers should read about it..its not a mere love story yg lead to romanticism..

for me, its the true way of expressing love..

when im in stress, situation does not follow according to my plan, sad and sorrow..

the first that I seek is Allah..

His words, the Qur'an..

praying and doa..

and for motivation. i'll seek hlovate..

when i am really sad* i mean like reaaaaalllllyyy sad that i cry..

I cry alone ad not talking about it to people..

i am in my own world..

I dont talk about it to friend..yup, i am a person yg usually akan cerita mcm2 kat friend..

but in those situation yg aku btl2 sedih..im just in my world..

im just being me..

so hlovate do give an impact to my world..

contengan jalanan by hlovate..

'hati itu Allah yang pegang-hlovate'

'the man who decide to change on the 12th hours die on the 11th hours'

what hurt the most~

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

sherry: its your song..~

i just need someone to say, everything's okay~

Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything's okay

Woke my weary head
Crawled out of my bed
And I said, "Oh, how do I go on?"
Nothing's going right, shadow's took the light
And I said, "Oh, how do I go on?"

Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving love to find a way
Through this messy life I made for myself
Heaven knows I need a little

Hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything's okay

I gave my hope to you
When you were early through
And you said, "Oh, I can't go on
Well, now I need it back
'Cause I have got a lack of all that's good
And I can't go on

Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

Everything's okay, everything's okay
Sometimes I need a little sunshine
And sometimes I need you

khasanah: i am in love with this song..~

'love' the way you lie~

~each time you are honest, and conduct yourself with honesty, a successful force will drive you to a greater success. Each time you lie, even a little white lie, there are a strong force pushing you towards failure.~

even the title is a bit sarcasm eh??

yup..i wanna said about lie..

i just hate being lied..

just hate it so badly no matter the thing gonna hurt me or not..

i dont like lies..even a small white lies..

why i hate liars..

because eventually..Allah always guide me to the truth~

i can sense lie..

that's why i hate liar..

im not saying i have like six sense or something..but the truth always come right infront of me..Alhamdulillah..

but once i know that you are a liar..

you make yourself small in my eyes~

and you ruin my trust...

i am a person who are not easily trust people,

and when i trust, keep it like that..~

so, just careful with what you wanna lie to me..

cause I WILL FOUND OUT..~

this have nothing to do with anyone..but this is a serious warning and I want all my friend to know that~

special entry for a special person..~

WARNING: ITS GONNA BE A LONG POST..

flashback..monday,11th may 2009..

hari itu..bermulalah pendaftaran aku ke satu tempat asing..satu dunia baru..

aku tak pernah duduk jauh dari family(ye ke??kalau merantau jalan pi rumah sedara-mara sendiri naik bas ke johor/negeri sembilan sorang2 or dengan cousin tu pernah le)

ok..this is the first day of my college life..

being a student at matriculation negeri sembilan, kuala pilah..

macam biasalah..first day tu..sedih lah jugak berpisah dengan umi and abah..

yang hantar aku time tu umi, abah, nenek and arwah atuk..

sempat jugak arwah atuk hantar aku pegi kolej..~

aku dapat duduk dekat blok A aras 4 bilik nombor 4(A4.4.4)..

paling dekat dengan kuliah and cafe and mana-manalah kira..Alhamdulillah..

aku ada roommate sorang nama dia DINI..

minggu orientasi sangat bosan ok..

aku jalan, makan, solat, semua2 sorang2..xde teman..

aku ada je kawan sekolah and even teha pon satu kolej tapi dia hayat..aku fizikal..

ssh nak jumpa..~

jumaat..last day orientasi..

time nak siap untuk solat maghrib tu barulah aku ternampak jiran depan aku ni..

dua orang..

salah sorang tegur aku..'eh, korang balik tak esok??'

aku pon jawablah 'tak, esok mak datang'

'owh..esok kita balik..awak bolehlah temankan roommate saya ni..dia tak balik..dia takut tidur sorang2'

'owh..esok pon kita duduk sorang, sbb roommate kita dah nak keluar..=('

time ni dia ada kenalkan nama..tapi aku rasa aku tak ingat lagi kot..

masa tu macam masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri je..(hoho..maaf..maaf)

sabtu..pagi tu, roommate aku keluar dari kolej..

dia kata dia dapat offer UIAM amik kos architecture..

huwaa..sekejap je kita kenal..and lepastu aku pon duduklah dalam bilik tu sorang2..

bilik tu untuk 4 orang..tapi sekarang..aku duduk sorang2..tapi aku tak tau napa aku xpernah tidur bilik orang lain..(adalah sekali dua je)

bosan nya duduk kolej time tu..tak tau nak buat apa..bosan gila..mati kutu sekejap..

tengah hari umi datang..bawak lunch..

dalam seminggu tu je umi kata aku dah kurus..

mau tak nya..orientasi tu makan roti je pon..~nasi xsentuh langsung..

umi balik je..bosan lagi..nasib baik bawak buku cerita..mac cabot, ready or not..habis gak lah..

pukul 10 malam..

sebab kan bosan yang dah tak tau nak buat apa..bilik pon dah habis licin kemas..

aku pon konon decide nak tidolah..

baru nak tutup mata..

TOK..TOK..TOK..

sapa pulaklah yang kacau malam2 ni..

bukaklah pintu..owh..ni roommate jiran depan yang xbalik tu..

jemputlah dia masuk..tapi aku selamba je baring atas katil tu..

and dia duduk kat atas kerusi..

aku katalah bosan..tak tau nak buat apa..so ingat nak tido..

'hmm..awak nak tido sini ke??ke nak kita tido sana??'

'xpelah..boleh je tido sorang'

'owh..ok..nama sapa eh??'(hihi..aku kan pelupa)

'huda'

and lepastu apa cerita ntah yang kita borak malam tu..cerita dari zaman sekolah semua keluar..padahal aku masih lagi atas katil and kau duduk kat kerusi tu..

yang aku ingat, esok aku pegi koop dengan tengok result aku tukar kos tu dengan ko..lunch pon sama kot..eh yeke??aku lupa..ntahlah..~

and ntah macam mana pon aku tak ingat, kita boleh jadi rapat gle..

and yang tegur aku mula2 tu adalah salwa..

yup..nilah cerita perkenalan aku dengan nurul fadzillahuda mokhtar dan salwa ismail..

aku rindu korang dua weyh..korang ingat lagi ke saat pertemuan ni??hoho..ingat lagi ke korang yang kita bahasakan diri kita..'kita/awak..'??

ingat lg tak??

aku rindu time balik dari kelas, terus cari korang and gosip or melepak kat bilik korang sambil makan cucur udang..~

rindu nak bangun study pagi2 sama2..

rindu panjat bukit and jogging pagi2..

rindu tengok movie sama2..

rindu buang masa time study week..

rindu pegi koop and pasar beli nasi kerabu..

rindu pegi upwell..

rindu jadi budak kecik yg korang dok pimpin time jalan(ye ke??)

rindu study kat library..

rindu makan kat cafe A..

rindu buat nakal waktu dinner blok..

rindu buat bising sambut birthday wa..

rindu ulu bendul..

rindu bahau..

rindu seremban..

rindu kongsi makanan time bulan puasa..

rindu air tembikai huda..

rindu tengok wa diet..


and hari ini..what make it more special is..bila aku check calender balik..

the day yang huda tegur aku tu..hari tu birthday dia..

hari tu..dah 2 tahun berlalu..ko perasan tak huda??

perasan tak yang kita dah tua??haha

huda, selama 2tahun ni..macam-macam dah jadi kat kita kan??

hari first ko kat unimap..ko call aku..

ko cakap ko sedih gila sebab kos ko tak ada budak perempuan..

time tu aku kat kedai buku..tapi selamba je aku duduk kat atas koridor tu borak lama dengan ko..

aku nak ko happy..~

then, kita selalu call and contact, message..

even kalau makan something teringat ko..

or ko ingat aku..mesti kita mesej and ajak masing2 makan..

walaupon aku n ko busy..ko contact aku pon dah cukup bermakna..

kalau ada problem aku slalu cari ko dulu..

ko selalu dengar problem aku..

tahun ni..

aku banyak buat kau sedih..

aku banyak buat kau touching and nangis..

aku mintak maaf huda..

bila kau cakap ko sedih duduk unimap..

aku macam nak je bawak kau masuk MSU ni..

boleh aku tengok ko..boleh aku cheer kan ko balik..

boleh ko senyum macam dulu..and ko boleh jumpa diri ko balik..

kalaulah aku boleh hilangkan rasa sedih and emo tu..

'when you love someone, you tend to hurt them..'

bila kita care..benda yang kecil macam kuman pon kita boleh terasa..

agaknya sebab tulah banyak benda yang buat kita touching kan??

aku care and sayang friendship kita..

sbb tu aku tetap tahan dengan semua ni walaupon ko suruh aku jangan cari kau lagi..

kau kata kau jahat, sakitkan hati aku and tak ada orang tahan dengan kau..

AKU TAHAN DENGAN KAU..TAHU??

fadzillahuda mokhtar, happy birthday dear..i want the best thing to happen to you..i want the smile that once faded away come back to you..

i want to see the real you..

the one who always positive with life..

aku pernah tengok kau jatuh dulu..tapi kau bukan seorang yang cepat mengalah..

kau bangkit balik..and sekarang..aku nak kau bangun balik dan jadi someone yang lebih extraordinary..

aku tau kau kuat huda..

may Allah bless you huda..and semoga kau dapat kebahagiaan, keberkatan dan keredhaan dari Allah..

aku masih tetap dengan janji aku..

'i wont turn my back..until you are the one who turning yourself from me~'

aku harap friendship kita sentiasa diberkati Allah dan lebih kuat dari sekarang and last forever..

kawan dunia akhirat..insyaAllah..amin..

p/s:cepat amek hadiah kat shah alam..aku bagi ko dua benda ni..pejam celik aku type and perah otak..dah sejam rupanya..cepatnya masa berlalu kan..happy birthday and happy friendship anniversary??haha=P

guest~

pagi jumaat..bukak phone lepas subuh..

3 mesej dlm inbox..~

sarah mintak bawakkan camera and tripod..tapi sbb tengah mamai..

smpt baca camera and charger je..

dalam kelas bukak balik baru ternampak words tripod..alorh..~

then they were like..

' jom pegi rumah dayah..'

'hmm..ala..rumah dayah xada apa..'

fikir 2-3 min..

'dayah call umi dululah ye..'

then call, smbl bisik..'umi..kemaskan bilik skali eh..diorg nk dtg lunch..'

hehe..*padahal bilik bukannya bersepah sangat pon..(ye ke??)

then sampai rumah..lepak2..
sarah gila main ngan olie..

owh yup..sarah and didi pernah dtg rumah before this..

then kali ni bawak sherry, mira n intan..

sorrylah..dah setahun kenal baru dayah bawak datang rumah..

and the makan kul 1.30pm..

afterwards pukul 2..

sarah ajak turun tingkat bawah sekali..sbb konon nk tunjuk threadmill kat sherry..

padahal nak wat photoshoot kat bawah..

then sherry and sarah gila dengan exercising ball aku..

(yup..tingkat bawah ni adalah ruang santai n tempat bersenam)

then..sarah bg idea amek gambar dengan bola and gitar..~

2.30 baru bertolak balik msu..padahal ada kelas kul 2.30 tu..but beselah..
its nothing but bioinfo class..hehe..~

wee wee..here the picture..*dayah curi kat fb ye..sorry..~

Im not yuna or ana rafali..and not trying to be one..
But I am yuna's fan..

may 6th 2011~

~nanitehayindayah~
the susunan of this name is so according to the picture eh?hihi

yeay..i really miss them..
the one who have been with me since ermm..my teenage years..??
sebab semua dah balik and berada di shah alam..so, apa lagi..macam biasa..MAKAN..~
i thought i would be rushing to go to class after having lunch with them..but thank Allah cause my class are cancelled..
seriously I really need to spend time with them...
then we all go tawaf the shah alam mall..and then to tutti fruity..and on the way there..there is a crisis occur..~

time mskkan tiket ke mesin..
saya terpaksa membuka pintu kereta kerana tingkap kereta saya rosak..sian kan??
then at that moment i've opened my purse to take out the tickets and because of my short hand, i have to pull out my body a bit from the car..and...guess what the purse had fallen out of the car..~
seriously..xperasan langsung bila purse tu terjatuh sampai lah saya sampai ke tutti fruity and search for the purse that I thought it was on my lap..
the next thing is we rushed back and I am drifting kot..not driving..sume senyap je dlm keta.
however, I DID'NT FOUND IT..ten minutes je..but ofcourselah..PURSE KOT!!
~seriously..rasa cm nak nangis pon ada..bkn sbb duit..(duit dah simpan siap2 dalam bank..) but because of IC and bank card..~
so we decide to ask at the customer service or the guard..
cari tempat guard tu dah lah satu hal..ngee..~
dah jumpe..pak guard tu mak aih..garang benor..banyak tol soalan dia..
tapi nasib baik lah..dia walkie-takie-ing with the other guard..and mula2 diorang kata tak ada..
reaalllyyy sad+dissapointed gle..then suddenly..this guy datang..
and he directly give the purse to me infront of my face..
i was reaaallllyyy relieve to see my purse..~
that guard suruh check everything..and ofcourse lah duit takde dah..
but yg len ada lah..~
xpelah..bukan rezeki kot rm40 tu..nak buat macam mana..~

afterwards..we head on to tutti fruity and said like..we have to enjoy this ice cream k..~~
afterall its a fun fun day with the girlfriend..thanx for helping me..love you guys..~esok nk cycling ngan mereka and budak2 BPH..wee..~

image from photo-shooting after the ice-cream..(sorry awak yang xbagi saya makan ice cream tu..but the ice cream is tempting =P)

runaway..aku menantimu everyday..~

Senilagu & Senikata: Awi Rafael
Hakcipta Senilagu & Senikata: Noh Phrofile Enterprise

Bukalah mata dan lihat di hadapanmu
Aku berdiri dekat tapi kau tak nampak
Hodohkah aku ‘tuk sering kau campak saja
Apanya yang dia ada yang aku tak ada

Mungkinkah aku yang tidak sekaya
Mungkinkah aku yang tidak bergaya
Haruskah aku pun tetap menantikan mu
Berikan jawapan

Pulanglah sebelum ku runaway
Aku menanti kamu everyday
Aku menunggu dari
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
Aku tak ingin, tak perlu
(Aku dah bingung)

Aku berjalan di kota Kuala Lumpur
Semuanya nampak berbeza tapi ku sama

Runaway…
Aku menanti kamu everyday
Aku menunggu dari
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
Aku tak ingin, tak perlu

i do really love this song despite the kecelaruan bahasa..i actually hate mix songs..but this song is just simple and nice..love it..<3

happy birthday abah..

happy 46th birthday dear Abah..(smlm patutnya aku tulis..)
abah, thanks for always giving me all the kata-kata semangat and xpernah berhenti support nurul..
eventhough nurul tau nurul ni degil tahap ungkal..hehe( ikut sapa lah ni..=P)

semoga Abah dimurahkan rezeki dan sentiasa dalam keadaan kesihatan yang terbaik..
and..berenti2 lah merokok tu..kami sayangkan abah..~
promise is still a promise..~

love you..and YOU ARE THE GREATEST ABAH IN THE WHOLE WORLD..<3