penakut~

Tak semua kau rancang akan berlaku
Mungkin nasib tak menyebelahi aku
Entah mengapa engkau yang aku cinta
Mungkin lebih baik kau ku lepas saja

Ini tidak adil tidak adil baginya
Ini tidak adil tidak adil bagiku
Ini tidak adil
Untuk engkau bertanya jika ku mencintaimu juga
Tidak adil tidak adil baginya

Kau tak pernah cuba memahami aku
Cinta kau ucap tak pernah engkau tunjuk
Dan bila tiba saat ku kehilangan
Beban yang tak pernah cuba kau ringankan

Kau bukan milikku

Dan aku memang penakut
Mengakui cinta kepadamu
Seribu kali ku cuba ucapkan
Bila bersamamu
Kau bukan milikku
Dan engkau pun tahu
Kau bukan milikku

this song..keep playing in my head~sorry again!

sorry seems the hardest way~

im sorry..thats all I could say to a friend that I value her friendship so much..
eventhough ko maybe dah lost the trust for me..
i promise you..
i wont let go of this friendship..
ko kata ko dh banyak berubah..
I dont mind babe..I really dont mind with your changes..
and sorry to make you not trusting anyone anymore..
sorry is the only thing that I could say..
Im sorry not to tell you..
sorry I kept it as a secret..
just sorry FADZILLAHUDA MOKHTAR..
sorry to dissapoint you..

just give me another chance..i miss you~
kawan sampai bila2..ni janji aku..ko..salwa..~

100th post have done!

haha..yup..I've written about 100 post..but in about 2 years..haha..sangat lah sedikit kan..??
nak wat camne..I was in matrix which the super tight schedule kidnapped all my free time to blogging~haha..
so as a special entry for today.. I would love to introduce the person that have always supported me in my life as day pass by me and made me what I am today..~

the family..the love of my life:
i just love them..ABAH and UMI as the starter. They are the greatest lover in my world. Ingat couple je romantik2..my parents lagi romantik okie..and in the correct way~~
my sista, khasanah and syuhada..though you guys always BULI your kakak(or the other way round)..but all you have to know is Im doing my best to be the coolest sis despite my garang-ness..I dont want you guys to be regret in your life..love ya!


my lovely COUSIN
they are the person that comes hell or high water(i curik hlovate's word)..they'll never leave me behind..we've been sticking up together since I was born(yeah..coz I was born after you guys)~
and I think you guys know me more than anyone else..we share all the sorrows and happiness together..and even share the grown up experiences together..we've changed to the better also together..and though Ive changed a lot..you guys are always be by my side..thank you for stay with my good and bad me..~

my hometown friend..<3
despite that we actually meet about twice or thrice a year..you never forget me..
though we rarely exchange news but you do catch up my story..we've been friend for almost 5 years(since form 3)..even if we are far from each other..BUT we just have the chemistry that make us..US! miss you guys for the joy and laughter that you bring in my life..being with you..I WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND THE WORDS SADNESS~nanitehayindayah~

my budak aras,sahabat dunia akhirat
mereka sangat best..mereka lah yang banyak mengubah hidup HIDAYAH menjadi lebih baik dan bertambah sopan walaupon mereka sangat ganas..mereka tak suka english sbb tu tntg mereka di tulis dlm BM..mereka tempat terbaik untuk saling ingat-mengingati..
hidayah sangat sayang korang berdua sbb korang paling memahami aku and there will be no replacement for you guys(maaf tertulis english)..walaupon korang tolak aku ketepi..tapi aku tetap ada untuk korang..kawan sampai bila2 ye SALWA dan HUDA..<3

my HAYAT 6~
you are the greatest impact in my life..korang buat aku rasa macam family..though we have 98 members in our kuliah..I do think I recognize them walaupon xingat nama..though matrix just 10 months..tapi you gain my trust in a short period..our ukhwah begin to stronger with the malam seribu impian and continue till today..I MISS THEM MUCH..all the gathering, the reunion..you make my life lively..and thank you for that..you are my brother, my sister, my friend and my life..
ain,qila,azza,kamil,arif,yon,bard,acap,alia,azah,mimi,wanain,fieza and anyone else that is in the HAYAT 6..

there..all my love..sorry for the long entry..since it a special one..(duh!u always post a long entry without a picture..its just a plain language..)

Allah[swt] says: “You may have someone in your mind, someone in your heart, someone in your dreams, someone in your life, but I am your someone when you have no one"...He[swt] reminds us saying "O Prophet! Allah is sufficient for you and for the believers who follow you ." [[Qur'an:8:4]]..so when you slip and fall, remind yourself of Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim, the One whose always there, just waiting for your Call~

memory..~

owh..dah setahun berlalu..
apa terjadi..malam seribu impian..
kalau korang ingat setahun lalu..
aku ada update post betapa tensionnya aku kene wat kad bagai..
huhu..rindu waktu tu..
betapa bersungguh-sungguhnya aku wat event tu..jemput VIP..wat prepartion..
bawak baju paling cun lah utk malam tu..
bawak make up, runding fashion orang..
rindu gle..
sbb malam tu lah, kuliah kitorang united sampai sekarang..~
member aku suma pelik bila aku kata aku ada reunion dengan dak kuliah time matrix..
sbb ada yg xkenal dak2 kuliah diorg..
aku sayang matrix..
rindu sangat korang..~

valentine day, vday or whatever the same..~

14th february..
sume orang tau lah what is that day..
lebih2 yang bercinta..
ok since when dayah nak cte pasal this day kan..
which Im the one who wrote the against the couple thingy..
sbb against lah I wrote this..huhu..
ok..blog walking, cik teha bg link neew blog..
in the blog, dia tulis how the velentine never existed..
fact and history here and there proving that there's no one named velentine whom recognized to be the person responsible for the kejatuhan islam..yada yada..~
ok ramai kot tau pasal kenapa v day ni haram untuk muslim..kalau xtau search sendiri..
then this blog which I mentioned before cm nak tegakkan lah benang yg dah bergumpal lagi basah..~
so he wrote lagi..(copy paste jelah)

Ni la kamu Effi..... termakan dakyah setan! Pergi la sambut kalau nak masuk neraka“
"Kenapa lak aku masuk neraka kalau sambut VDay?”
"Pasal ada hadith - Sesiapa melakukan perbuatan menyerupai sesuatu kaum, maka ia termasuk bersama golongan itu”
"So you are telling me if I celebrate New Year, World Cup , AIDS day, Diabetes Day, Hari Pahlawan, Hari Guru , Hari Persahabatan dan segalanya aku masuk neraka la yek. Macam tu?”
“Ko ni memandai he Effi. Hari yang diilhamkan kaum kafir je haram”
"Abis ko ingat hari-hari yang aku listkan tadi tu siapa yang reka? Graduation day pun kaum kapir yang start dulu. Yang baling Mortar Board Hat masa graduation tu kapir yang start dulu! Masuk neraka la kamu nanti!“

so he mention about the other celebration right..that is where he's so wrong..
cause apa hasil daripada all those celebration..??
just wait till the next 9 month..

'berita hari ini, seorang bayi dijumpai di dalam lubang tandas dengan kepala nya telah hancur dan badannya terputus..'

perlu lagi ke cakap is there's anything wrong if I celebrate those day??
kalau bnda yang salah tu..xkan de jadi betul..
salah tetap salah..~
apa susah..kalau nak sangat celebrate tu apa kata celebrate je hari2..
barulah purely sayang menyayangi hari2..ye dak??
tapi eloknya korang sayang je kat laki/bini korang..~

second semester..~

sekejap nya cuti..sekarang di semester kedua..
wee..~~
ada 7 subjek..
jadual full gila..
xde break(even for solat..bt no worries akan aku usaha kan utk keluar dari kelas..if not aku solat je dlm kelas..ada aku kisah??)
hmm..takut lak nak start kelas ni...
and owh, nama aku naik untuk jadi wakil batch for min pharmacy depan lembaga pharmacy..
mini pharmacy tu apa??
the sequence for dispensing medication..
OMG..dah lama xbuat..lorh dayah..ko penah dispense sekali je kot..~~
kene baca balik pharm prac ni..adoi..~

saya tak sempurna..

saya boleh bagi nasihat..
tp anda yg blh laksanakan..
apa yg saya tegur adalah satu kewajipan..
saya dah jalankan tugas saya..
bergantung pada awak untuk berubah..
just think about it yourself sayang..
you gotta do what you must do..
saya bg ceramah sbb saya ikhlas bagi nasihat..
ble saya bg nasihat saya reflect pada diri saya..cermin dulu diri before cakap apa2..
saya pon nak berubah jadi lebih baik..
saya pon boleh dengar nasihat orang lain..
nak ubah habit kita mmg susah..but try hard..~

kepada mereka2 yang terpaksa mendengar ceramah ikhlas saya satu masa dulu..
saya bukan manusia sempurna, alim and baik..saya pon buat salah..buat dosa..
tapi saya cuba my best to be a good muslimah..
kadang2 fikir..umur ni makin lama makin tua..ntah bila ajal menjemput..~
kepada anda2, saya tak kisah kalau awak tak nak dengar nasihat saya..no hard feeling..jangan sedih2 ok..
tapi selagi saya masih boleh mmbantu saya akan bantu..
selagi saya boleh tegur saya akan tegur..
bila saya tak de kat sisi korang..
ingatlah Allah tu sentiasa ada...~~