Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Do you remember.

Everything was so fast.
I am no longer a teenager who started this blog to engraves all my memories here.
So much had happened.
I'm an adult now.
I'm working, living far away from my family,
paying my bills and managing my own life.
Few months back,
I read about a celebrity couple that are getting divorce.
Farah Lee and Ally Iskandar.
It actually give a slight impact on me,  because back then he was my Ally.
Other than that,  it often saddened me to see couple that look so good together decided to broke off.
Well, that's how life is. Nothing is permanent.
Back to my story,
I am no longer in Tawau, Sabah.
Yet, I am still far away from home and it is farther now than before.
I have to take 2hours ride to the nearest airport before flying another 2.5 hours to KL.
I live in an actual village.
Just a small cozy house. I really love this house.
It only have two rooms, a bathroom and small kitchen for myself.
My parents came here two weeks ago and they filled my house with all my needs.
Thus, it really feels like home.
I remembered back then, someone asked me if I could live in a village instead of a city.
I am an uptown girl.
I was living in Shah Alam all my life and even my hometown is only 20mins away from Shah Alam.
But I proved him wrong.
I am that girl that could adapt well, in whatever situation.
I proved my self-worth.
I am ready to forgive but forgetting is a harder fight.
I saw the years you counted with her. It wasn't the same calculation that I had in my mind.
I counted 3 years since my heart was shattered but the love you created with her has already been 4 years.
I wonder were we living in a different time zone.
That is somehow what made the memories left still painful.
I still don't know which one is real and which one is not.
I am no longer mad nor angry with you.
I just can't forgive the wrong things you did, and yet I remembered the good things you had.
However, you were a person I used to know.
3 years had passed,  how would I judge the person you are now.
I no longer know you.
And you no longer know me.
But I know you are happy,
And I know I am happier now than before.
But I will never know when will I learn to open my heart and will there be someone that will ever gain my heart ever again.
If you ever read this, please keep me in your prayer.
I could not imagine what will happen if we are ever to meet again.
That's a reason why I'm glad I'm far away from both of you.
I'm coming back one day and that fine day,  I still hope we will never meet again.
I hope our fate ended back then in 2014,
The day that I sent you home hoping that you give me a last glance through my rear mirror but you never did.


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