Thantophobic

That one day,
That one friend asked me on something that happened around us,
She asked me,
"You observed all that and why you keep it all by yourself?
We are all so closed that I thought we are open to discuss on anything that hurt us.."
Thing about me, I am really honest about my feeling,
I never lie if you asked me about it,
but I will never be the first person to tell about it to you.
Especially when things upset me and it hurt me too much.
And I told her,
" It is not that I never tell, but no one ever take it seriously. Afterall, I can't force people to love me. Furthermore, I'm leaving soon. Everything will be better"
" You shouldn't kept it by yourself. Poor you. I thought you didn't realize anything or you never cared about it. Express yourself. Please."
" It is just me. Let it go. It already happened."
" Seriously, tell us how you feel. I thought we can talk about anything"
" This is what I am. There are two kind of people that will never leave me, my family and my bestfriends. And things are always like this for me. I was never that person that everyone would look into first and after some times, everyone will just leave. It happened a lot of time before. Things are going on so great and suddenly poof, everything's gone. Like what I said, I can't force people to stay.
" Please, don't think like that."
"I'm leaving soon. It all will be better and I will always start over again"
" That is the reason why you have problem with commitment and that is why you are comfortable with someone that did not give you commitment."
"Maybe"
"It's okay but next time, tell me, tell us aout everything.It's okay. We'll be there."
.........
but she never really opened up herself to them.
Caused she know sooner or later, we are all gonna leave.