busy!

super busy.
tak sabar weekend ni..
tak sabar weekend depan.
tak sabar cuti seminggu.

kbye!

notes today, from pharmacology of cancer and other body system: high histamine in the body will cause us to forget things..and, forgetting is a blessing from god..it keep us moved on in life- dr hamed~

memory lane and some sort of stress reliever!~

assalamulaikum..
due to some reasons of hormonal imbalance and also stress due to exam..
i kinda made something out of mind..
seriously.this semester is no joke!
 24 credit hours just make me forget my life, and other thing else..
bukak twitter and fb pon sekadar tengok group for any news or perkembangan.
Owh, and twitter is just to catch up with my gfs life..*macam stalker je bunyi but i dont want to miss anything about them.*
and, I have removed almost half of my follower..
I am so sorry, it's not that I am ending up friendship with them,
not that I hate them..instead I love them but I think it's better to be like this.
I don't want them to read my rambling, sometimes words hurt people we care..
so it is better to be like this.
no, no I don't talk anything badly about others especially friend, dont worry dear..
so, what did I did that is so out of normal?
one day, after hours and hours of reading, memorizing and understanding, I took few minutes to just lay in my bed but I couldn't rest..
then I sat up and suddenly my eyes fixed at one thing..

this album particularly..

as I had just started to open it, suddenly..

umi and Sanah masuk bilik and they joined me..*what a bonding time..huhu

and one name come to me as they asked which make me feel mixed up.

I dont know how to describe it.

I dont know if I am sad, if I am angry, if I miss that person..

it all a mixed up, that's the best way to describe it.

maybe I had strong enough to face it.

strong enough to walk through this memory lane and accept the reality..

been a year, all that is not easy but not possible.

I lied if I did not miss a single memories in this album. I miss them all..

my practicum-mate: i never had this kind of classmates again.

my unique bestfriend; qila and ain

for them who bring me joy and tears.

i miss them..

........................................................

next thing that I've done!

memula, kita kan pergi makan dengan umi dekat kenny rogers..

pastu kan kita nampak kasut ni..

kita pegi tengok kedai tu..sekali kita ternampak kasut lain..

bila pakai it looks like a boots..nice!

so kita beli sebab kita tak ada lagi kasut yang casual yang boleh bawak jalan2 and kelas for formal..

then..umi bawak kita pergi eighty one since dia ada 50% less for all item accept signature dia..

BUT I want the peplum WHICH is mahal jugaklah..

so kita merantau ke cala qisha..

and and kita TERBELI peplum dia..TER eh bukan sengaja..

hik3..*tamatlah aku gedik2 separuh hari membazir tanpa study..kbye.

TERBELI okay..huhu

~~

mood: hyper, pening kepala, overload of thinking..
now doing: report, assignments and reading for quizzes..

seriously, life ain't gonna be better..
it's going on tougher..
pharmacy is really tough, mentally and physically..
exhausted much..class from 8-6 then back home preparing for tomorrow with tons of assignment..
been through the worst..but I don't remember how we survive during our 2nd semester..hoho
BUT I know I will! maybe this is worst than 2nd semester..because we have a lot of project and lab..
next semester dah start buat proposal..
next year buat clinical and cases dekat hospital..then graduate!
ya Allah, sekejapnya 4 tahun...
and 4 years full with stories..

how  I remember graduationg from matrix.
it was like yesterday..TETTT..it have been 2 years have pass through..
I wish I have taken a lot of picture back then..
and I wish I have saved it in the CD..
unfortunately, I have nothing except for my practicum picture..
everything else have gone..
I think, there are some good things behind everything that happen..
I lost the picture but yet it make me stronger..
I've been through a phase of mending my own heart.
memories will just make it harder to forget..
but lucky me to cuci gambar and put it in an album..
it just for now, I don't want to open it..it still fresh in my memory.
all the wound, the pain, the love, friendship..
and how I loss it.
 for whatever reason I have to not to open the album..
those album is my greatest memories..
my favourite..
thinking of it will only make me cry..
but everyone moved on..
cherish the memories and live the present.

p/s: ditulis dalam keadaan yang masih pening kepala..maaf kalau ada yang ditulis secara tidak sedar..~

cantik~

assalamualaikum..
cantik tu subjektif..bukan mat lutfi je kata..
ramai lagi orang yang kata..
ada orang kata kurus macam victoria beckam tu lawa.
ada orang kata gemuk tu lawa.
ada orang kata pakai make up tu lawa.
ada orang kata bare face tu lawa.
ada orang kata yg pakai cermin mata tu handsome.
ada orang kata yang pakai baju kemeja tu gay-ish look.
macam-macam lah orang kata..

tapi aku dan orang lain ada jugak kata....cantik tu untuk siapa?
dulu, badan berisi, gemuk..
muka berjerawat, jeragat, gelap..
waktu tu, beria-ia kata nak ubah penampilan..
nak lagi cantik..jaga badan, jaga makan..
dan waktu tu jugak, semua gambar dekat facebook di hide kan..
tak pon ambil gambar pon tak nampak muka,
baju besar-besar, labuh tutup semua..
bersederhana sebab kita nak tutup kekurangan kita..

TAPI...lepas dah cantik dan kurus lepas guna produk A, produk B..
tup2 tukar profile picture..
gambar yang nampak badan kita dah kurus, muka dah nampak tirus,
privasi gambar pon dibuka maka ramailah yang komen..
cantiknya awak sekarang..kurusnya awak...
lepas tu setiap bulan tukar gambar baru..
kali ini tiada lagi kekurangan yang nak kita tutup..
lupa kah kita untuk bersederhana?

kadang-kadang bila kita hodoh, buruk, gemuk, berisi..
masa itu kita sedar diri kita..
kita jaga adab, jaga batas..dan yang penting JAGA DIRI KITA..
tapi..bila dah cantik kita sibuk jaga makan, jaga perhiasan diri sampai kita tak terjaga perkara yang kita ada dulu..
sedangkan ia adalah yang paling penting untuk kita.
bukan paras rupa yang tentukan siapa kita.,.
akhlak kita yang utama..
bila kita ada kekurangan, kita selalu beringat..selalu bersederhana..
bila kita ada kelebihan, kita lupa itu adalah ujian Allah..masa tu kita perlu lebih beringat..
lebih bersederhana..~
cantik itu untuk siapa?
Lillahitaa'la.

memujuk~

assalamualaikum..

al-insyirah.

surah Al-Insyirah.

surah memujuk, surah penenang diri.

my favourite surah.

dulu waktu zaman sekolah agama, memang hafaz sebab nak lulus hafazan..

namun ilmu tanpa amal tak berguna..lama-lama lupa.

but then bila dah masuk sekolah menengah,

abah made me hafaz this surah again together with ad-dhuha *real forcing me to!

my "vocab" for surah at that time is sooooo few.

dalam solat dok ulang al-ikhlas, an-nas *sedih ;-(

so afterwards, surah ni sentiasa berada di fikiran.

during my SPM trial,

my teacher said to us, if you are nervous in the examination hall,

remember to recite this surah.

I never knew until then that the surah dapat tenangkan hati..

because I never really care about the meaning.

until today,

I recite it in every of my prayer.

At the time that I found difficulties,

I recite this surah.

At the time that I cried,

I recite this surah.

At the time that I stumbled to the ground with no one to held me up,

I recite this surah.

because i believed..."Bahawa sesunnguhnya tiap-tiap kesusahan 

disertai kemudahan"

the funny part that I could tell you is that,

waktu aku buat experiment dengan tikus.

which I have to feed the mice with a drug (metformin and glucose) and then we have to take the blood sample by making a small cut at the tail of the mice,

I recite this surah to the mice.

I felt really sorry to the mice.

each group have to take two mice, for the control and the test.

our mice seems to have this connection that we could describe by the way they take care of each other.

they protect each other from being touch by us and even lick each other wound.

But the mice remain really calm and good.

they even slept at the time interval before we check the blood again.

It so sad and emotionally touch.

this is why I hate experiment with animal!:'(

unfortunate, it is for the sake of knowledge.

the cutie good and well-behaved mice..:')

this surah, really make me feel calm,

and make me stronger and stronger.

make me feel....Terpujuk..

life ain't easy.

people talk, people hate.

for what I could be,

I could be me.

The best of me.

InsyaAllah.