i know you never meant to make me feel this way~

dont know, dont know if i can do this on my own

why do you have to leave me?

its seems im losing something deep inside of me

hold on, on to me

now i see, now i see

everybody hurt somedays

its okay to be afraid

everybody hurt, everybody screams

everybody feels this way, its okay

it feels like nothing really matters anymore

when you're gone i cant breath

and i know you never meant to make me feel this way

this cant be happening

so many questions too much in my mind

so many answers i cant find

wish i can turn back the time

i wonder why~

(everybody hurt-avril lavigne)

Optimislah, jangan pernah berputus asa dan menyerah tanpa usaha. Berbaik sangkalah kepada Allah. Dan tunggulah segala kebaikan dari-Nya. #LaTahzan

aku yakin, setiap yang berlaku ada hikmah dia.

apa yang tertulis, yang kau baca, semua tu antara kau dan aku.

tak ada sesiapa yang nampak dan tahu.

kau mungkin salahkan aku sebab aku tak faham.

aku memang tak paham apa yang terlindung.

aku perlukan penjelasan bukan kiasan.

semuanya dah berakhir dengan satu penjelasan.

tapi bukan ni yang aku harapkan.

salah aku.

mungkin?

sebab aku manusia yang tak mampu hidup dalam diam.

aku tak mampu hidup terus memendam rasa.

sifat aku untuk selalu jujur dan meluahkan apa yang terbuku.

sebab bila semua telah aku luahkan, takkan ada lagi penyesalan, takkan ada lagi ungkit-mengungkit.

kuasa untuk satu penyelesaian masalah adalah kejujuran.

aku terlalu jujur, sbb itu sifat aku.

sampai bila berdiam?

diam hanya akan buat keadaan semakin sulit sebab perasaan tidak puas hati itu terkumpul.

itu prinsip aku.

bila tak puas hati, luahkan.

yang sudah tu sudah.

takkan ada perulangan.

......................................................................................................................................................................

bahagiakah bila satu persahabatan terpaksa diputuskan?

biarlah kita yang tahu.

kau mungkin akan lebih gembira disamping kawan-kawan kau.

yang pasti bukan dengan aku.

memorable~

thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..

and thanks Allah for this day..

thanks Allah for giving me this person in my life..

those who really care about me,

those who went so much for me,

being there for me,

bare with me in all situation,

bare with the bad and emotional me,

sharing happiness for me..

make me feel valuable,

make me feel loved.

YOU did make me smile for this whole awesome day..

YOU are awesome..

thanks for today,

thanks for the surprise(s).

though i usually not into surprises, but sure i love you guys!!!

you, who've been there when i cry but make me smile in the end..

just want you to know, that i really thank you for making my life interesting, to make my life easier, for make my life cheerful..

you colured my life..

I love you so much..

you give sunshine in my life..

thank you..

you know who you are..<3

p/s: the picture will be uploaded soon..im just to exhausted from all the happiness you give today..hehe..nanti ye!

my wish list

★ I want the blessing from Allah throughout my life.
★ I want to be succeed in my life not only as a pharmacist but also a good muslim
★ I want to search for HIS love.
★ I want to be a good daughter
★ I want to be a good friend
★ I want to be better
★ I want to be the guidance as that's the responsibility i've taken from my name given- hidayah~
★ I want to be a good sister
★ saya nak mereka yang berada dalam hidup saya sekarang akan terus berada dalam hidup saya kecuali atas janji Allah yang pasti iaitu kematian
★i wish i could see everyone happy with me
★ i wish i can make you happy

insyaAllah..dengan izin Allah~

mari membebel 2~

finished 6 papers for this week..

fewwwhh..how is it??

not going to talk about this..

honestly, banyak gila drug name nak kene hafal..and nama tak boleh pulak kalau tak membelit lidah aku..

haila, haila...tak rock arr pharmacist tak blaja pharmaco and tak belit-belit lidah kan??

and maybe sebab ni kami belajar communication english with all the proper pronounciation of each and all alphabets??*erk..im not sure if we are going to talk to our patient with the british english and american english (great, while writing this, im saying all the words with the britishaccent..hua3..)

for all the examination, i think this is the most depressed examination i ever had kot..

i dont know what happen, but i have mood swing through out the week..

sapa-sapa cari pasal ngan aku memang nak kena lah kan..

and really-really-really thank you dekat awak-awak-awak-awak sebab tahan dengan tahap swing saya yang macam tsunami kot..xde alarm pape..tiba-tiba nak ngamuk..kui3..*blush~

but there is a saying,

'if you can be with me throughout the worst of me, then you worth to get the best of me..'

love you guys lah! you know who you are..

thanks for all the support throughout the day when i just need someone to say that its okay to cry, its okay to just membebel kat twitter..and it just nice to know someone that appreciate us and will be happy when we are happy..thank you..!! i've gain my strength!

get up!

assalamualaikum..

lets just read through all this retweet first:

~BFF……. B- stands for best, F- stands for friends, but the other F stands for FOREVER

~Sometimes some people come into our lives, make a huge impact on it & slowly fade away & there's nothing we can do about it.

~It's because#scorpios only care about a few & show this softer side to a few. The rest of the world sees our cold exterior

~If u turn ur back on #scorpio & realize u made a mistake, understand that it's too late for things to be normal again

~When hurt, #scorpio's have the inate ability to make you invisible,act as if you're dead to them.

Everything you see & everything you hear, definitely affects your heart..

Letting go hurts, but you know that if you were to keep holding on, you'll hurt yourself even more.

"You have 2 friends in this life: 1.ALLAH 2.Those who remind you of ALLAH

i know exactly what really happen between the two of us..
I had asked you the same question from the start and it had been almost a year and you always denied it!
if you be honest with me on your true feelings from the beginning, i could stop all this from the start..
why dont you stop us??
why must you sacrifice our friendship?
kau tahu camne aku value friendship kan?
once i accept a person in my life, i gained trust..it WONT be that easy for me to let it go?
so why now are you showing your little objection??
sorry aku buat kau sakit hati, kau rasa sakit dengan apa yang aku buat..
cuba kau fikir balik? betul ni yang kau nak??
adil ke kau buat aku macam ni sebab benda yang hanya kau je yang tahu..
sebab perasaan kau sendiri?
i dont wanna make assumption..tapi there are lots of thing yang aku sendiri nmpak..
and you yourself nak aku assume n paham sendiri kan??
what you should know is that I HATE making choices..
and i wont choose anything over anything..
i just wish you to be happy, its your choice..
bila orang dah berpaling daripada kita, pilihan apa yang boleh kita ambil selain teruskan kehidupan..
just one thing, bila kau perlukan aku, you just have to turn around..
if I'm not there..just remember that my prayer is always be with you..~

talking to the moon~

talking to the moon

trying to get to you

in hopes you're on the other side talking to me too

or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon

(talking to the moon-bruno mars)

yeah..this phrases truly said what deeply inside my heart.

i am trying to get to you..

i am hoping for you to talk to me..

i am trying really hard for saving this friendship..

and its true what people around told me..

bertepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi..

this not just implies to just a relationship..but also a friendship..

remember that!

in any relationship there should be a give and take..

and nak tau what people told me for thousands of time??

' kau tak rasa kau je yang try untuk selamatkan friendship ni? bila kau nak belajar untuk let her go??'

BUT I ignore all that..i never listen..cause I truly care and love you..

you are my sahabat..and aku tau how u've changed..

but aku rasa you changed only with me..

seeing you with the other of our friend..macam tak ada pape pon..

kau boleh je tegur diorang cam biasa..

im sorry im beeing emotional here..

but i dont know what i did wrong..

so maybe i could conclude that i did a mistake that I just dont realize and you are just had enough of me..

if only i could..I would want to know the reason..seriously..

but knowing you..

that just an impossible..

silence is YOU..tapi silence wouldnt do any good..

our mistake is that..kita xpernah selesaikan semua ni..

each time things happen..either aku yg bawa diri..or kau yang terasa..we just apologized without exlaining..

this time..it just couldnt worked out..

apologizing couldnt do anything..

anda, aku diam bukan bermaksud aku dah lupa kau..sungguh aku rindu gila kau..tapi bila ingat balik sampai bila benda ni nak berulang banyak-banyak kali..and sampai bila hati aku nak sakit je bila kau ignore aku..atau mungkin hati kau sakit sebab aku..aku rasa memang aku kene biarkan kau dengan kehidupan kau sekarang..aku tak harap apa-apa dari kau..cuma aku nak kau gembira cam dulu..salah aku kot semua ni..apa-apa pon kau tak perlu mintak maaf sebab kau tak buat salah pon dengan aku..~just be happy with your life..its all that I want..and please be happy with me..

lesson on sahabat~

assalamualaikum dear sahabat..

oit! pe kaba?? lama xdengar cte ko..rindu dowh kat ko...!

i always asked this question to you when we chat..

do you know how I miss to said all this to you on the phone?

do you know how i miss hearing you asking me those question just like old time..?

you dont..thats why you never called and you just answer..' oit..bese je..xde cte pon..'

how am i supposed to prolong the conversation when the only words that i get is that?

how am i supposed to said this on phone when you never pick up my call?

thus, i ignored the coldness you created and still acting cheer n happy cause i truly miss you..

when actually the moment i asked you that, im hoping for you to asked me back on how's my condition..

BUT you never asked..

so i tried to talk..i tried to create conversation..

i tried my best to just make you say something..

but i failed..

how am i supposed to make a conversation when you obviously dont want to share anything with me?

sometimes..when you are in stress and have a problem..

i give advices to give you strength..

i asked you to seek Allah cause He knew the best..

but the only words that i hear is..'aku tak baik macam ko..'

what am i supposed to said anymore when my advices are just 'too good' for you..

for each things that i did..for each things that i make..

i never heard the words thank you..

for every action that i made, the only thing i get from you is sarcasm and critics..

and those words that made to annoyed me..

BUT I stayed here with you when you never see me right besides you..

maybe Im just a blind spot on your sides..Im there but you couldnt see..

what I'm asking you isn't much..

I just want you to stop being cold with me..

I'm once the person you called just because you are bored, because something new happen to you, when something too good or too bad happen..to share just a story despite its just a simple and plain story..just for the sake of saying something to each other..

BUT now..I'm the person who you give your harsh words to, person you dont want to talk to, person you no longer called, person you just want to ignore and a person whom you might just get annoyed..I dont know the reason why we changed..why we have to be like this..I never know the reason you did all those things to me..I never get a single explanation on it..~

i've been crying and hurting so much for the things that happen between us..

and that's why I've stopped asking how you've been and make distance from you..

this might be what you really want from me..~~~

I'm sorry if what i asked is too much..

but I just wish for once dear sahabat..

I never hate you..instead I love you so much..

but could you please be happy for me??

just the way I'm happy when I see you happy..

lesson to learn~

Adam.. jangan terlalu murah dalam berbicara dan jangan terlalu mudah engkau mengucapkan 'I LOVE U' dan 'I MISS U' kepada hawa kerana engkau pun tahu hawa itu sangat rapuh hatinya dan sangat mudah goyah imannya. Jika engkau ikhlas bergerak di jalan Allah dan ikhlas ingin memiliki mereka, maka datangilah wali mereka dengan lafaz bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Hawa...jangan terlalu mudah engkau menilai hati seorang adam daripada kata-kata dan paras rupa,kerana engkau tidak akan dapat bezakan antara cinta yang suci dan nafsu. Peliharalah maruah diri mu untuk mereka yang halal terhadap mu. Bercintalah kerana Allah...''

mari membebel~

kerja banyak..tapi aku rasa nak membebel di sini..kih3* lately suka je ketawa camni di alam maya..=P

as usual, when demsel in stress, i always update my blog..

kesian blog..umpama tempat luahan perasaan..

arini nak merepek pasal heels..

I love heels/ gladiator/ wedges..

seriously super lawa kot..

BUT!! obiviously people, NURUL HIDAYAH SHEIKH ABDULLAH dont have a lots of shoes, hate shopping for shoes, wont wear heels/ wedges for shopping and jalan2.. and i can count my shoes in one hand kot..huhu..

WHY?

here I'll list out the answer..

★ HURT

ok, sincerely there are few of my wedges or heels that are realllllyyyy comfortable and it does not feel tinggi at all..but..to wear it for a day of walking, running and standing..each time i went home, i have to massage and soaked my feet in hot water(best gle!)..and only that i'll feel relieved..so why hidayah dont wear it if I have the solution already..move on to the next reason..

★ MSU

apa kene mengena MSU dengan heels/wedges??? meh sini aku cite..aku ke sekolah dengan menaiki kenderaan sendiri, my baby cannary bak kata cik tehafauzi..sepanjang kehidupan aku kat MSU itu aku takpernah parking dekat tempat letak kereta yang di sediakan..aku parking kat tesco or belakang tesco which is near to Les' Copaque office(ala upin ipin tu).. then aku berjalan kaki..jauh..namun kerana kejadian MBSA telah memberi 'love letter' dekat aku maka dengan niat jimatkan duit aku pon parking kat parking MSU..napa baru sekarang?? sebab parking MSU tu macam construction site..jalan guna flat shoes pon rasa cam nak jatuh tersepak batu-batu tu..inikan lagi nak pakai heels yang 5 inci tu..hampeh lah kan..huhu

★ STAIRCASE MSU

MSU lagi..MSU ni banyak tangga..nak masuk MSU tu je naik tangga dah tinggi..pastu bila nak pegi kelas pulak konon lah boleh naik lif..aku memang lucky sebab kecik boleh menyelit-nyelit berebut naik lif tu..tapi kalau dah tak boleh sangat-sangat tu..tercungaplah nak naik kelas..kelas aku tak sah kalau tak naik sampai tingkat tujuh dan keatas..kala kelas level 13/14 camne??

dahlah pakai formal hari-hari..patah kaki kalau heels je hari-hari..

★JALAN LAJU

ye aku manusia yang suka jalan laju..pantang aku lah kalau ada pakaian/ aksesori/ kasut yang boleh membataskan pergerakan aku..cam nak tanggalkan je..huhu..so bila aku beli kasut aku akan make sure aku mampu bergerak tanpa batasan dan mampu berlari dengan kasut tu..ini penting ye untuk fight-or-fight response..balik dah lah asyik lewat malam je..parking tu tinggal keta aku je..MSU dah lah banyak BBoy(bangla boy)~adess...