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Friday, December 11, 2015

December

Assalamualaikum..
Hey there Hidayah.
I heard you're doing great. You are simply living your life. Start enjoying everything that happened around you.
It's already December. You know how you feel about December. December always mean starting of something new.
2015 is somehow a great year for you especially after your biggest downfall in your life. You were never that down but I believe you are a strong women. So strong that I can't even believe you are that strong. Afterall, I am proud of what you have been.
Earlier this year, you had your convocation day and finally you've started working at somewhere you never imagine working but even now, you never regret coming here and as I said, you are enjoying life.
Alhamdulillah.
That's all I can say for you. You deserve this.
To be happy again, independently.
Actually not independently, you are very dependant on your family and bestfriends. They are your utmost support system. You had never appreciate them as much as you do now. You are realizing how much your family loves you, how hurt they were to see you hurting and only you know how much you love them.
And now, you've find few more friends into your circle here. A friend that hold you like a family when we all are so far from our family.
You are blessed and loved there and I know you are happy.
You experience a lot of things these year. You met a lot of people here with so many dramas. Someone came in and out of your life. Some people were sent to test you, and made you realized on what's happening on you last year. You understand how exactly (not exactly but yeah) feelings can change and how people could fall in love with someone's belong to others. And you learn to be tough with yourselves and only accept love you think you deserves. Promise me, you'll never hurt another women with the same way you were hurt before. You made that promise and you are strong enough to fulfilled that promise.
Sometimes you were still bothered on the mistakes you've done that brings to the end of your relationship. Sometimes you even have the urge to ask him about the mistakes you've done but you have learnt to forgive him and mostly yourself, although you're not even sure about him forgiving you or even himself but you hope and you know, he is happy and you are happy for that and you hope he is praying for your happiness too. Afterall, we are still part of each other happy memories once.
Just when you were reminded on those day that hurt you, remember that today you are surrounded with happiness. My dear, those past had thought you to be tough and to became who you are today. You are precious, Hidayah and great things are coming your way. InsyaAllah.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Chasing

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta ku dapat..

I have stop chasing
What I thought was happiness
I have stop chasing people
Stop depending on people
And mostly stop hoping.
People are frustrating and hopeless.
I have stop wanting people to stay
And believing people will stay.
I had enough of being second.
Second choice, second chance.
I want to be someone choice to be with.
Someone's only choice.

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